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Chapter Thirty-Six
PAIGE
“I should’ve brought a thicker coat. I forgot how cold it gets up here!” I feel the need to shout with a scarf half obscuring my face.
Charlie grins down at me. “Wimp. The south has made you soft! Good thing you turned me down. You’d never survive in Germany.”
I give him a playful shove with my elbow and experience a small spark of warmth, solely from happiness that the two of us can joke about his ridiculous invitation.
Thanksgiving dinner I was a barely contained mess, and after the pie was passed around, Charlie pulled me from the table and got me to fess up about everything that happened. He held me while I cried, calling Dash all range of names until I felt the need to defend my recent ex.
“I think he was pushing me away on purpose,” I’d said. “Like he was being harder on himself than on me.”
“Paige—”
“No, I know it sounds stupid. That I sound stupid.”
“You don’t sound stupid. You sound like you love the guy.”
“Fuck.” I buried my head in my best friend’s chest as Pumpkin nosed my leg. “Why can’t we just fall in love with each other?”
His chuckle surfaced from deep in his chest, vibrating through me like a massage to my tense muscles.
“Love isn’t easy like that. For what it’s worth, I think you’re right.”
When I peered up at him, Charlie grimaced, as if the words pained him to say. “He’s not a Martin.”
“What do you mean?” I rubbed my eyes, fingers coming away black from the mascara I’d put on for the special occasion. I leave little dark streaks on my dog’s fur when I reach down to scratch her head.
Charlie sighed and rubbed my shoulders. “Martin looked at you like you were his. Like he owned you. Had an unquestionable right to you.”
“And Dash?”
My friend didn’t answer right away, frowning as he stared at me. When he spoke, the words hit me in my already bruised chest. “The guy looked at you like he wanted to be yours.”
I had to stifle another sob, shaking my head. “Let’s stop talking about this. I want to talk about New York.”
When I told Charlie about the interview, he suggested making it into a whole trip. The two of us exploring a place, like we haven’t gotten to do in years. I’d mapped out all my favorite spots that I wanted to take him to, some of them tourist traps and others little gems I only came to discover after living in the city for years.
Then my old publisher shocked the hell out of me by offering to cover not only my airfare, but my hotel for the entire two-week trip. Going from getting fired, to having all my expenses paid for is messing with my head.
So, in my normal fashion, I distract myself with food.
“This is the best pizza. Well, the best that was within easy walking distance of my old apartment.” I tug Charlie into a small shop that’s warm and smells of melted cheese. We each order, cradling the massive slices that practically drip off the sides of the paper plates. Structural integrity be damned, the important element is taste, and these deliver.
Even as I consume the glorious slice of pie, I can’t help remembering all the delicious food offerings I’d just started to explore in NOLA. New York City has everything, so somewhere on these grid streets there’s likely a shop selling po boys. But would they compare, or just be sad shadows of the real thing?
“How can you frown when your mouth is full of this heavenly pizza?” Charlie gives me a mock glare across the tall metal table we’ve claimed.
I shrug because I don’t know how to explain the little empty spot in my chest. Or I do, but I’m not sure I want to say the word out loud.
Homesick.
Since when did New Orleans start to feel like home?
Was it all Dash?
I play around with that idea but dismiss it. He does keep shoving his way back into my thoughts, pricking at my heart like a handful of splinters. But when I envision New Orleans, he’s not all I see. There’s Pumpkin, romping around in my parents’ back yard. There’s Mom, smeared in oil, brewing herself a cappuccino with my granddad’s old machine. There’s Dad, his ingrained frown lines clearing into a smile as he listens to the women in his life bicker.
