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This was not how I wanted to tell her, as some last-ditch effort to keep her from walking out. She pushes past me to the front door, grabbing her duffle bag and clutching the strap with white-knuckled hands.
“Did you hear me?”
“You know what I heard?” The woman I love more than anything pauses, her hand on the doorknob. “Duct tape on a cracked window.”
“What?”
“A quick fix.” Her voice is low, pained. “I heard ‘Shut up, Summer.’ I heard ‘Stop asking questions, Summer.’ I heard ‘Smile and pretend like this is all you need from me, Summer.’”
“That’s not—”
“I like a lot of people.” She cuts me off. “But I only love a few. And I need to trust the people I love.” Her body shifts slightly, turning a few inches toward me. But her hand is still on the doorknob. “I’m not a thing to be kept. You took away my choice by hiding parts of yourself from me. I’m done being manipulated.”
“Don’t do this, Summer.”
“Leave me alone, Cole.”
Then she’s out the door.
And I’m alone. All she’s left behind is the tease of her lilac shampoo scent and the decimated pieces of my heart.
Chapter Forty-Six
SUMMER
“That may be the most gorgeous sweater I’ve ever seen.”
Jamie grins at me, running his hands over the riot of green, yellow, and purple, while Mama Al preens under the praise.
“Thank you, dear. Picked it out myself. Doesn’t it make him look so festive?” She plucks the shoulder of the somehow both gorgeous and eye-melting garment.
The sight is adorable and has my heart squeezing. The two of them are an odd pair, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Jamie happier. And I know, when he leaves the library, he’ll be going to a warm, dry, safe place, staying with someone who cares about him.
There’s no getting past that Jamie won’t be with his parents, but I hope that he at least feels loved by a few people in this world.
“You have some writing you think you’ll share today?” I ask, trying to re-focus my brain on positive things.
The teenager nods as a tinge of red paints the tops of his cheeks. “Yeah. Just something small.”
“Bet it’ll be great. Head on in, so I can talk to our favorite librarian. I’ll be back later to pick you up.” Mama Al shoos the boy away.
Jamie waves to us with his notebook in hand, then disappears into the meeting room.
Fully aware of the few overlapping topics Ms. Allemand and I share, I make sure to speak before she can.
“So, how are things going with Jamie?”
The woman smiles indulgently at me, not fooled by my push away from a certain conversation.
“As good as they can be. He’s a sweet boy. Always doing his homework or writing. We had his boyfriend over last night for dinner.”
“And what do you think of Craig?” After the bonfire at Cole’s house, I like him.
Ms. Allemand leans on the circulation desk counter, and I’m glad there’s no one forming a line, demanding I end my conversation.
“Seems like good people. Obviously adores our boy. He’s a big star on their high school football team, you know? Seems his parents are the kind that don’t believe sports and gay mix. Like their son will lose his abilities and college scholarship if he admits to fancying men.” The woman scowls into space. “Ridiculous.”
I agree. But I’m happy to hear the guy hasn’t broken things off with Jamie just because they were outed. Craig gets a lot of points on my good list.
