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Paige and I stand at the bar, far enough away from our table to have a private conversation, but close enough to see our three companions chatting.
“Because it’s not important,” I mutter.
Before Summer and I arrived, I texted both Dash and Paige, telling them to keep info about my stint in prison to themselves. Not that it’s a topic we normally discuss, but seeing as how it’s the catalyst for Dash and my friendship, there’s a chance it could come up.
“If it’s not important, then just tell her. Dash told me almost immediately.” Paige drums her fingers on the bar top as she stares up at me, confusion dipping her brows. She has a small scar that bisects one eyebrow from a car crash she was in in high school, and I find myself focusing on that rather than meeting her eyes.
“It's not important, but some people think it is.”
“And you think Summer is one of these people?”
“I don’t know.” And I’m not willing to risk it. “She’s a rule follower.” And for a good chunk of my past, I was not. I want her too badly to risk her judgment. I’m being selfish, and I don’t care.
“Do these lies have an expiration date?”
I firm my mouth and only answer when Paige’s normally sweet features morph into a glare.
“When I’m sure she won’t care.”
“So maybe never?”
“Do you think I’ll make a bad boyfriend?” I ask instead, avoiding her question. But I also want to know the answer because I can’t help thinking how easily I could screw this all up.
Paige chews her lip and huffs, eyes tracing over me. Finally she responds, still not sounding particularly happy. “In every category other than honesty, I’m sure you’d be awarded an A. But honesty is a big category.”
Paige would know. The relationship she was in before meeting Dash ended because the guy was cheating on her, and she found out only by walking in on them.
“I would never lie about something that would hurt her.”
“Just the act of being lied to can hurt.”
That gets to me, and I rub at my chest in an effort to ease the guilt.
“Could you stop saying smart things?” I growl. “Just…look at her, Paige.”
We glance over together. Summer is telling some story that has her gesturing wildly with her hands and both Dash and Marianna laughing into their beers.
There’s a flush in her cheeks, an eager glow in her eyes, and a wide smile that invites everyone around to join in on her happiness. Everything about her saysthis woman is sweet and kind, and good.
She’s the opposite of me. I’ve never wanted anyone or anything so much as her.
“She’s great.” Paige rests her hand on my forearm as she speaks, the touch demanding my full attention. “Which is why I don’t want you to mess things up.”
Her voicing my worries ratchets up my anxiety. “I need time.”
My friend turns back to stare at Summer as I order our drinks. Once I’ve signed my name on the check, she tilts her chin toward me.
“Summer is your succubus?”
A guy at the bar gives my friend a long, strange look. Well that’ll teach him not to listen in on private conversations. I, on the other hand, understand exactly what she means.
Paige read over my manuscript before I sent it out to agents. She works as a professional book editor and was the only one outside the writers group I trusted to give me honest feedback. Just now, she’s referencing the love between my warlord protagonist and the beautiful succubus from a warring nation. My book is essentially a romance, with the warlord pursuing his love despite the world telling him it’s forbidden.
Summer feels just as off-limits to me, but I could give a shit.
“She is.”
My friend grumbles to herself before sipping from her beer. After swallowing, she sighs.
