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But my dad’s words continue to replay themselves in my mind.
“You’ll drive her away.”
I wanted to tell him that I was nothing like him. But that’s not true. Plus, my dad isn’t a shitty guy. He’s a good dad, and I don’t want him thinking otherwise.
What I wanted to say was that Summer isn’t Mom.
She’s not. Not like her at all.
But my dad never hid anything from my mom. He was just his standoffish, grumpy self, and that was enough for her to decide she didn’t love him. To decide she didn’t love us.
I have Dad’s personality, plus my delinquent past.
Summer might not be bothered by the first right now, but paired with the second, any doubts she has could be amplified. Still, if I can find a way to explain what I did, get her to understand that I’m different than that person I used to be, maybe we can move past this.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out to read a text.
Summer:Are you sitting in your truck outside of my apartment like a weirdo?
Shit. She caught me. Not that she wasn’t expecting me, but I should’ve texted the when I arrived. Instead, I’ve been idling here for five minutes, debating with myself, no closer to figuring out what to say.
Cole:Yes. Got lost in thought. Want me to come up?
Summer:Nope! B right down.
Even though she’s coming to me, I still turn off the ignition and step out. Circling around the hood, I’m just opening the passenger door when I hear footsteps on the apartment stairs.
Summer appears.
Only, she doesn’t look like the normal Summer.
Normal Summer likes floral patterns and cheery colors like yellow and sky blue. She wears little makeup other than her colorful bright lipsticks.
This is not that Summer.
This woman has on a long-sleeved black dress that hugs her torso before flaring out, ending just above her knees. Her nails are dark, maybe black too. She has smoky eye makeup and a sinful red color painted on her lips.
“Look!” She skips toward me, stopping just a few paces away. “I’m all dark and brooding like you!” And then, as if she is intent on killing me, Summer does her best to scowl.
Blood roars in my ears, saying a final goodbye as it all heads south. Without thought, I’m reaching for her, fingers splayed, ready to grab her. To pull her into me. Cage her in my arms.
Want me like I want you. Don’t leave me.
The thoughts whisper desperately in my subconscious.
But Summer steps back, a teasing tilt to her lips as if she’s oblivious to my need.
“Wait! Check it out.” Her hands go to her mouth, and a second later, she’s smiling at me with a set of fake fangs. “I know this isn’t a full leather getup like I promised, but I kind of look like a mistress of the night. Right?”
My heart hurts. There are literal pangs in my chest with each beat as I take in this amalgamation of adorable and sexy.
She is perfection.
I don’t deserve her.
Because I’m selfish, I’ll never tell her that.
My feet move forward, and I feel my knees go loose. So I kneel in front of her, wrapping my hands around her waist and pulling her close so I can bury my face in her chest.
