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“That’s some creative reasoning, but I’ve been led to understand you aren’t wrong. The daft man, though, was ready to come for you himself, despite his pain and disability. He wouldn’t allow anyone else to take his place except me. And only when I insisted would he listen to reason.”
Silence followed his statement. He turned his head to find her staring at him again, but this time it was with an expression of fascination, as though she weren’t quite sure what to make of him. The girl opened her mouth as though to speak but then shut it again, as though she had thought better of whatever she had been about to say. While Gilbert found himself wondering what it might have been, he was relieved by her silence.
The silence continued another couple of minutes before the air around them changed. A quick glance told him she was again staring at him, but this time with another wide grin.
“I ought to have just thanked you prettily, shouldn’t I have? I do apologize, Your Grace. But you have to understand that your appearance quite flummoxed me.” Suddenly her eyes widened, and she turned her head away as though she had suddenly remembered something. She kept her head averted and her eyes trained upon the floor of the carriage. She cleared her throat before asking her next question. Her voice was much altered and filled with respectful deference this time, just like anyone else in his employ. Gilbert fought back the ridiculous disappointment.
“Can you tell me anything I ought to know about Lady Adelina?”
“It might be best if you get to know her for yourself rather than having your opinion coloured by mine.”
Again, Gilbert saw her open her mouth before she quickly pinched her lips closed. She nodded once before she cleared her throat anew.
“Might I be so bold as to ask why you have hired a companion for your daughter rather than a governess? She seems a bit young to be completed with her studies.”
“She hasn’t fully completed her studies, but enough that a companion should be sufficient. Especially one such as you with such a well-rounded education. Lady Adelina has insisted that she is prepared to study on her own with only a little assistance from time to time. She didn’t enjoy her formal education, and this was the solution we agreed upon. There was also an unfortunate incident with the last governess we had in our household. She has left a distaste behind for the title. But, as I’m sure you will agree, she isn’t so grown that she could be unaccompanied at this point. So, you were our solution. And with your qualifications, if you and she suit, you should be able to remain with us until she makes her debut. A governess couldn’t very well accompany her for that.”
“No, of course not,” she finally replied in a small voice, followed by an unbroken silence until they pulled up in front of his house.
~~~
She had obviously not thought this through in the least.
Felicity felt squashed by the weight of her thoughts as they rolled along in the comfortable carriage. It was a far cry from the conveyance in which she had spent the day. She would have taken it for granted any day previous to this one. But now, it had been on the tip of her tongue to remark upon the light steps of his horses and the delightful springs in his carriage. It was likely that gently bred young women wouldn’t notice such things, and Felicity needed to keep her thoughts to herself.
But how was she going to keep her family ignorant of her whereabouts for seven or eightyears? And then, how was she to be Lady Adelina’s companion when she made her debut? It was highly unlikely her sisters wouldn’t notice that Miss Felicity Jones was suspiciously familiar looking when they all resembled each other so clearly. No disguise would be sufficient to fool her sisters.
She decided to set aside the unwelcome concerns for a time. She had known there would be complications, and she had considered the need to inform her family eventually. If she and Lady Adelina suited, she would decide then what she would do. Rathnelly would eventually need to be told as well, if she decided she wished to stay.
Felicity just hoped she wasn’t on the verge of injuring the innocent feelings of a young girl. That was the entire reason she had set herself upon this course. She hadn’t liked the direction her life was expected to go. She wanted more for herself. And she was determined to guide her life in her own direction. It had always hurt her feelings that she was expected to live her life a certain predetermined way. And no one had ever listened to her objections. Felicity was well aware just how very fragile the feelings of a nine-year-old could be. That was how old she was the first time she could remember knowing how desperately her mother wished she had been able to bear a male child to inherit her father’s titles and lands.
Unlike her sister Hilaria, Felicity had never actually wished she had been born to be that heir. But it had much struck her how stuck they all were in the strictures of their world. And she had begun to rebel against it.
Little things at first. Why did she have to take tea at exactly the same time every day? Soon, she had learned there were certain things in connection with her own body that just couldn’t be rebelled against. She needed sleep and food at regular intervals. But then, why couldn’t she muck out the stalls or visit the kitchens? And the worst one that had finally prompted her outrageous adventure – why did she have to marry?
Felicity wasn’t opposed to marriage in the principle of the matter. She was well aware of just how blissfully happy her sisters were with their husbands and children. Felicity actually thought she would like to have children one day. But the need to go up to London to prance around ballrooms and theatres, parading in front of a collection of noble gentlemen hoping one of them would accept her as his bride, struck her as frivolous at best and abusive at worst. But she didn’t think there was any other way to wed. It wasn’t as though she could run away with a footman. That wouldn’t result in happiness for either of them with their disparate backgrounds; she at least had the sense to understand that.
So, she would find employment.
Her parents had been fundamentally opposed to the idea. They were far too preoccupied with the newly arrived viscount to pay full heed to her words, dismissing them as one of her fits and starts. But as Augustus had survived infancy and her parents had regained their sensibilities toward their remaining children, talk had resumed of Felicity going up to London to make her debut. She had begged for another year, explaining that she would rather debut together with Graciela. Luckily, the easy-going youngest daughter hadn’t objected. And Felicity had exerted herself to come up with another plan.
And here she was, arriving at Rathnelly. She had outdone herself in the outrageous category of life. No one would ever think to find her here.
She hoped her chin wasn’t hanging open. As they trundled up the long, straight drive toward the house all Felicity could do was try not to gape. It was the most majestic place she had ever seen. Even grander than Wexford, her brother-in-law’s principle seat, which she hadn’t thought anything could be after she had visited her oldest sister for the first time. But Rathnelly exceeded Wexford in both size and atmosphere.
The sun was at just the right angle, casting the very last dregs of its light, reflecting in rose and orange shades, sparkling in the myriad windows placed systematically across the front of the large, imposing building. Felicity assumed the structure would usually be a sedate gray or even a boring beige but as the sunset reflected on the sandstone, it glowed and sparkled.
She tried not to be excessively fanciful, but it seemed to her that the house was beckoning her, welcoming her even. Despite her awe of the massive, stately structure, Felicity was filled with certainty that she would be able to feel at home there. She wanted to turn to the duke and discuss the matter, but ever mindful of the need to hide her identity, she kept her thoughts to herself and her appreciative stare fixed to the swiftly approaching building.
It was the most majestic and overwhelming building she had ever seen. She loved it instantly and wanted to explore every inch. She dearly hoped Lady Adelina was going to be amenable to showing her around.
Her sense of awe threatened to overwhelm her. It didn’t help that the handsome duke at her side was becoming more austere the closer they drew to his ancestral home. Felicity wished she could turn and stare at him, but that couldn’t be done in either manifestation of her life. Neither a debutante nor a hired companion could stare as openly as she wished at a duke, no matter how compelling he might be.
But she was almost consumed with curiosity as to why he might be stiffening as they approached the massive building. A part of her could understand the reaction as it was a large, imposing edifice, but one would think, having grown up there, the duke would be immune to such a reaction. She was swept with the oddest impulse to offer comfort to the man. She curbed the instinct. Now was not the time to allow her urge to mother those around her free rein. She also smothered the urge to laugh at her own swirling thoughts. She certainly didn’t want her new employer to think she was a candidate for Bedlam.
