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“When will Uncle Zeke get here?” Rachel asks, covering her mouth with a giggle when Lule shoots her a serious face.
My eyes dart to Edie, my chest tight, but she’s looking at Sarah.
“You know he’d be here if he could, sweetheart,” Sarah says, lightly.
It’s the wordcouldthat makes my chest squeeze. I’m sure what Rachel hears is that he’s unavailable, but I hear Sarah’s coded message: if I said the word, he’d come.
“As I was saying,” Aly says, still standing at the head of the table. “Let’s raise a glass to the reason for the season, the woman we all love dearly: Faye. Now, Fayebug,” Aly says, her voice shaking. “Look around this room.”
She’s quiet, and I do. I take in everyone gathered there, everyone who has meant so much to me over the past two years.
“You will always have a place here, with us, no matter what. No matter where you go, we are your home.”
I feel the weight of her words in the loving gazes from every corner of the room and it takes some real effort to lift my glass and clink it against the others.
“To Faye,” Caro says, clinking her glass to mine.
The girls both wrap their arms around me and I almost lose it.
“Before we devolve into sloppy goodbyes,” Sarah says, walking toward the front door. She returns, holding a large fishbowl full of pieces of paper. “We have a little surprise.”
“Yay!” Rachel cheers and Ivan grins.
“Is this the thing?” Lule asks Rachel.
“Just hold your horses,” Rachel says.
Edie catches my eye and nods at them with the biggest grin on her face. We’re both Team Luchel, for sure.
“We’ve been writing down our favorite Faye memories ever since we learned you’d be leaving. And we thought it might be fun to pass the bowl around and read some of them out loud. For example…” She reaches into the bowl and pulls out a slip. She grins and looks down at her daughter. “I love Faye’s hair. It is so shiny and makes Rapunzel’s hair look like poop.”
“That one’s mine!” Rachel squeals.
Everyone laughs as she skips to where her mother stands and takes the paper from her. It’s not until she gets back and hands it to me that I see it’s not paper: it’s a photograph.
Of me.
I’m holding Rachel, standing next to Zeke’s truck. He’s watching from where he leans on the sideview mirror with this expression on his face that makes my pulse speed up.
“How?” I mumble, but Sarah only passes the bowl to Freddy.
“Hmm,” Freddy says, clearing his throat. “Faye makes an excellent crutch.” He passes me the photo, and I can’t contain the laughter.
It’s a horribly blurry photo of me and Freddy, him leaning on me as he tries to throw a beanbag. Zeke, once again, is in the background, staring at us—although it looks more like he’s staring at the spot where his arm drapes over my shoulders.
“Why does Uncle Zeke look so mad?” Rachel asks, making Freddy laugh out loud. Hard.
Everyone else laughs, and I feel my cheeks heat.
Ivan takes out his photo and reads, his cheeks flushing beet red. “Faye is so nice and she smells like flowers.” He looks at the floor as everyoneawwsand he mumbles, “I didn’t know I had to read it out loud.”
He passes me his photo, dropping it in my hands and then disappearing. It’s a photo from the Fourth of July. It’s me, sitting alone, on the swing in the backyard. I remember that moment, when I’d never felt so alone. But it also makes me think of the things Zeke said when he was drunk, the way he held on to me through the night.
Zach is next. “That time we got to tell Faye that Zeke is healthy, and that he’s gotten his priorities in order. We’re all grateful he’s leaving the league with his health, and that he’s figured out exactly what he wants,andwhat he needs.”
I feel the blood drain from my face and I search Pasha and Freddy’s faces for some sort of answer. Pasha meets my eyes and dips his chin once. Zach hands me the picture, and it’s another one that I didn’t realize anyone had taken. It’s of the two of us in the tunnel after a game. He’s got his arm around me and we’re laughing at what looks like Pasha, Aly, and Caro—except he’s looking at me. And again, it’s that expression. The one that makes my stomach tighten and my breath come faster.
“I have many memories with my new sister Faye,” Darwin says, not really looking at his picture, as if he’s already memorized it. “But they all feel small when I think about the ways she’s shown me the meaning of grace.”
