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Chapter 29
Alex found canned soup in the cabinets, bread in the freezer and a chunk of sharp cheddar in the refrigerator. So she made grilled cheese sandwiches and vegetable soup for dinner. Gideon was doing something on the computer, and when she told him dinner was ready, he stepped into the kitchen. Raised his eyebrows at the sight of the food on the table.
Narrowing her eyes, Alex said, “Your turn tomorrow night. You can make whatever you want.”
“Not criticizing,” he said, sliding into a chair. “Amazed that you’d managed to make dinner with one hand. Grateful, too. I was getting hungry.”
Mollified, she shrugged. “Not tough to open a can and slice some cheese. Put a sandwich together.”
“No, that’s an easy meal. But I’m impressed that you managed to do it with one arm in a cast. Didn’t it hurt like hell?”
She sighed. “I had to get creative with the cheese slicing. I rested the cast on the cheese, but I needed more pressure than I could get with my left arm.”
He leaned back in his chair and studied her. “So what did you do?”
“I found the heaviest book on that bookshelf. Set it on top of the cheese and sliced off some pieces.” She shrugged. “That was the only hard part.”
“Kudos to you,” he said, taking a bite of his sandwich.
Neither of them spoke while they ate, and by the time they both finished, tension vibrated through Alex. Were they going to be silent until they left this cabin?
No. After the dishes were cleaned up, they’d talk. Or at least she’d try to talk to Gideon.
She stood to carry the dishes into the kitchen, but Gideon put his hand on her arm. “Hell, no. You’re not cleaning up. I didn’t intend for you to make dinner, but I got sucked into my emails with Tony and lost track of time.” He jerked his head toward the living room. “Go sit down. This will only take a few minutes.”
Alex wandered over to the bookshelf and studied the books. There were a lot to choose from, and several that looked appealing. But with one hand, her Kindle would be easier to manage. So she took it out of her dresser and sat down on one end of the couch.
She wanted to talk to Gideon, but she needed a prop in case he shut her down. The Kindle was perfect.
Water ran in the kitchen. Dishes rattled. Silverware clinked. But before she had a chance to figure out what she would say to Gideon, he opened the door and stepped outside.
Swiveling on the couch, she waited for him to return. In a few minutes, he stepped into the room with an armful of wood. Set it on the floor beside the fireplace, then dusted off his hands. Took off the vest. “Should be enough to get us through the night,” he said.
He sank onto the opposite end of the couch, and Alex’s heart ached. Before yesterday, he would have sat down right beside her. Their bodies would have been plastered together from shoulders to knees. Heat from his body would have warmed her, and his scent would have surrounded her.
Instead, five empty feet and a huge gulf separated them.
Swiveling on the couch so she was facing him, Alex said, “Can we talk now, Gideon?”
He shifted to face her. “About what?” he asked, his voice cautious.
She wanted to roll her eyes, but stopped herself just in time. “About what happened yesterday.” She closed her eyes. That fight hadn’t just happened. She’d been at fault. “No. About what I did yesterday.”
Holding her gaze, he nodded slowly. “Yeah. Let’s discuss that.” He turned to face her more directly. “You want to go first?”
“Yes, I do,” she said. She slid her hands beneath her thighs. Drew in a breath and blew it out. “I’m so sorry, Gideon. I was completely out of line, and I’m ashamed of myself. It’s not an excuse, not even close, but I’ve been terrified since I overheard you and Jerry talking that night. I’d become prey. Running blindly, like a rabbit.
“It was better once we were in the compound, but I was still on edge. Worried that Jerry and the Russians would find a way to get to me. Because I knew if they found me, they’d kill me for that insurance money.”
He nodded slowly. “I understand that, Alex. I can only imagine how you felt when you heard Jerry talking about having you killed. Heard me talking about how I’d do it. But I thought we’d resolved that. I thought you trusted me and knew I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. Knew I’d protect you from Trotter and the Russians both.”
He sighed. Shoved his fingers through his hair. “And those files? Yeah, I knew you’d kept them in your tote bag. And when I saw it on the bookshelf, I wondered if the files were still in it. But I didn’t touch the bag. Wouldn’t have, no matter how long I was in that apartment.
“Was I tempted? Of course I was. I knew those files might have the information I needed to prove Rudy Kramer was dirty and clear my name. Both Tony and I are certain he’s in bed with the Bratva. Too many blown raids. Too many near misses when we tried to arrest someone. And Kramer was the most likely reason why.
“But I wouldn’t have betrayed your trust. Wouldn’t have looked at anything without asking you first. What we had was far more important than those files. And I know that looking at them, without your permission, would have been the worst kind of betrayal. I was really hurt when you accused me of doing just that. I thought we trusted one another. Had each other’s back. And when you proved me wrong, it really burned. I felt as if you’d stabbed me in the back.”
Alex swallowed around the lump of regret in her throat. “As soon as I said those things to you, I wanted to snatch the words back. And I should have apologized immediately. But I had to figure out why I’d said those awful things to you. I trust you. I… I care about you. An apology would have meant nothing without an explanation. And I didn’t have one.”
