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“Really?” she said, and Spence heard the frown in her voice. “Who is it?”
Spence stood up and walked over to her. “Can we talk, Zoe?” He glanced at Don out of the corner of his eye. “Privately?”
Zoe stared at him for a long time, and he couldn’t read her. In the past week, she’d gotten too good at disguising her emotions.
His fault.
He swallowed. He needed to apologize but didn’t want an audience.
“Fine,” she finally said. “Come on up.”
She turned and hurried to the elevator. Inserted her key and stepped inside, then held the door for Spence.
The doors slid closed, and he retreated to the corner opposite Zoe. His gaze flickered to the mirrored walls, and he couldn’t help remembering another time in this elevator. He’d had Zoe naked in a few seconds. Screaming for him shortly after that.
He stared at the floor, afraid his expression would reveal his thoughts. Now was not the time to remind Zoe of that earlier elevator ride.
It seemed to take forever for the elevator to reach her unit. Once the doors slid open, he waited for her to exit, then followed her into her living room.
Zoe set her briefcase on her desk, then turned to face him. Crossed her arms over her chest, as if they were armor needed to protect herself. “What do you want, Spence?” she said, her voice flat. Unemotional.
“Am I too late?” he asked immediately.
She frowned at him. “Too late for what?”
“You were having dinner with that guy at Madeline’s. It looked… intimate. You were talking. A lot.”
“So? What about him?”
“So am I too late? Have you found someone else?”
Zoe tilted her head. Scowled. “You think I’m that shallow? That a week after I told you I loved you, I was on a date with another guy?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “That’s what it looked like.”
Instead of responding, she turned to pace the living room. “Why are you here, Spence? What do you want? I asked you once, but you never answered.”
“I want several things, Zoe. First of all, I want to apologize for the way I acted last week. I was an ass. A complete jerk. And I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing to do with me. But would you give me a chance to explain?”
She stared at him for a long moment, as if deciding whether to toss him out right now. Finally she nodded once.
Spence swallowed. Cleared his throat. “I was… last week, I was shocked when you told me you loved me. I felt… ambushed. It made me feel as if I was drowning. Couldn’t get any air. Couldn’t form a coherent thought. All I could think about was getting away. So I ran. All the way back to Montana.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “So you’re saying I should have kept my mouth shut?”
“No! That’s not what I’m saying. I wasn’t prepared to hear you say you loved me, and it freaked me out. I’m not… I haven’t gotten involved with anyone, other than on a very superficial level, since Marissa died. Didn’t think I wanted to be involved with anyone. That’s why I took off like my ass was on fire. I had to get away. Had to think.”
“So telling you how I felt scared the crap out of you,” she said, her voice cool. “Good to know.”
“Yeah, Zoe. It did. Because I wasn’t expecting to hear it. Wasn’t prepared to hear it. And I took the coward’s way out. I ran.”
“Why did you come back?” she asked, taking a step back.
“Because once I thought about it, once I worked my way through the panic to the root causes of it, I realized that I’d made a huge mistake. The worst mistake of my life.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I took my after-case leave, and told Mel I was taking some vacation time, as well. That I had stuff to figure out. Then I went to the beach.”
“Why the beach?” she asked, looking puzzled.
“The beach is where I always go when I need to figure something out. I need the water. The waves. The scent of the salt and the feel of the spray on my face. It helps me think. Work things out.”
