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My stomach riles against me. The birthday cake our neighbor made me gurgles and threatens to come back up.
Rough hands move from my head to my shoulder to throw me toward a group of naked women. They have to be in their twenties, arms marked up with needle marks. They reach for me and I recoil.
“Go on, you pussy ass mama’s boy.” Tears threaten to slide down my face. I don’t want to be here. The stench of foul body odor, sex, and liquor erase the scent of my mother’s perfume from my memory. She’s been dead for only a month. An overdose. She couldn’t take the wrath of my father’s belt anymore.
I don’t blame her. I only wish I could join her.
I shake my head and the memory clears. Disgust rolls through me. Not for the women; they only did what they had to do in order to survive, but for the man who forced me out of my childhood. Who carved me into the piece-of-shit I am today. I dig for the bottle of pain pills in my pocket and pop a couple. It hasn’t been nearly eight hours since my last but who’s counting at this point.
I find Asena through the crowd of people. She has a drink in hand and Avery is beside her. Bright blues find me and those eyes—her attention on me works like a balm. The ache of the past eases and I can breathe again.
Riot puts a hand on my uninjured shoulder and leans in. “Easy brother. You grip that glass any tighter and you’ll have more wounds to bandage.”
Deep down, the churn of my gut tells me the way these people want to give Devil a sendoff, club style, irritates the fuck out of me not because of my past, but because he’s gone and I’m still here.
“Everyone. We all know why we are here today.”
Just hearing Ares speak puts me on edge.
He ascends the stairs like he’s some damn god lording over his subjects. Standing a few feet above the crowd. Riot and Rage carry out a skull made of black roses on a large easel. Beside it they place a large picture of my fallen brother. His signaturedoesn’t give a flying fuck about anythingsmile is spread wide across his face. One arm is over Ares’ shoulder and the other is around mine. He trusted too easily and loved too hard.
Spikes of pain shoot through me.
That trust got him killed. Ares didn’t protect him when he should have shielded the boy from this shit instead of bringing him in as a patched member. He wasn’t ready just like Casanova and Blaze aren’t.
Around me, everyone grows quiet.
“Our brother loved hard, played harder, and gave the ultimate sacrifice. It took far too long to honor his memory. But we are here today. We’ve raised the dead, opened our doors, and now throw a toast up to the man who took brotherhood to the ultimate level.”
“Hear, hear,” Rage shouts over the cheering group of grieving friends Devil left behind. Drinks go up and then everyone kicks back their flavor of poison.
Again because of Ares putting himself above the rest of the club. I bite back the acid rising to burn the back of my throat.
“He cared for those who needed a shoulder, rode his bike like he had wings, and now that he does, we’ll carry him with us wherever we go.”
Exhaustion pulls at me. My vision grows a little fuzzy. My mouth is moving before I can convince myself it’s better to shut the fuck up and get lost in the bottom of a bottle. “He wouldn’t be dead if you opened your mouth and told us all the truth. If we knew what we were up against none of us would be mourning him today.”
Low voices drop to complete silence. I push through the people. Doc tries to get in my way, but I level a hard stare at the man.
“Have it your way,” he finally says when I don’t back down. “I’ll get the staple gun ready.”
My attention moves back to Ares. “You speak of brotherhood and all that shit, but since when do you lie to family?”
Blaze and Casanova think they are going to keep me from speaking my mind. Casanova catches the full force of my punch as reality hits him in the face. The well-meaning pup falls into his buddy when he tries to push me back into the throng of people.
“Stay the fuck out of this, boy,” I growl, never taking my eyes off Ares.
He steps down off his makeshift throne and we are nose to nose.
“Tell me I’m wrong,” I seethe. “Tell me he wouldn’t be here if you had protected him. He looked up to you. Barely older than those two.” I throw a hand toward Casanova and Blaze.
Ghost, Ares’ cousin and newly patched in Savage, steps around the corner looking like he’ll move in if needed. Silent fucker doesn’t talk or do anything but watch since arriving.
“Don’t worry, I have enough in me to take you on too,” I throw his way only to get a grin back. Oh, we will definitely have a go at it before long.
Rage and Riot shuffle the non-club members to some other side of the house. Somewhere out of the way.
Asena comes up beside me, silently pleading with me to take her hand and walk away. Never in my life have I desired to wrap someone up, steal them away and never look back. But that was never in the cards for her and me. Not when I was a vengeful undercover cop with something to prove. And definitely not now. I narrow a look her way. “Leave me be.”
