AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Can’t Escape What You’re Running From
Tyler
Seattle, Washington
Later that night
Let this American Blow You Away
I’ll Be Your Princess
London’s Loss is MY Gain
I’m never getting home sight unseen this evening…
“I thought you said that the Americans were slightly less unhinged.” I eyed the makeshift posters outside my office’s garage window, simultaneously texting my guards to devise an alternate route home. “I could’ve sworn they weren’t in tune with royal life.”
“They’re into celebrity life.” Dillon lay flat on my couch, staring at the ceiling. “They’re entire culture is obsessed with fame, and you’re a pretty ex-royal boy with abs, dimples, and apparently a face worthy of sitting their vaginas on. It’s the perfect recipe for undying thirst, no matter where you go. Want me to invite some of them upstairs to get them off the street?”
“Not really.” I squinted at a bright sign, a neon pink “Come stick your Crowned P in this W.A.P.”
“What’s a W.A.P., Dillon?”
“Wet ass pussy,” he said.
“I see.” I smiled. “Maybe I should’ve chosen a small island for my new life instead.”
“Don’t try to take my advice now.” He scoffed. “That ship sailed long ago. By the way, you chose poorly—very poorly—with this Chloe woman.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Whatever the dictionary says ‘poorly’ means,” he said, sitting up. “Very smart girl, very ambitious, very should’ve-been-more in life, but…”
“But what?”
“You better hope like hell no one ever finds a connection between you two.” He warned. “It’ll get uglier than anything you’ve ever experienced.”
“Was she a demon in her previous life?”
“Worse.” He pulled a folder from under the cushion. “Hopeless romantic who dated around and couldn’t keep a boyfriend for more than a few months at a time.”
“That’s nothing to be worried about.”
“Oh, yeah sure.” He shrugged. “Except every time she broke up with someone, she made a Facebook status that went semi-viral and they’re quite the ride.”
I raised my eyebrow.
“I copied and pasted all of them for you. Oh, and you’ll love this. One of her best friends runs a huge-multi-million-listener podcast where she once had Chloe on as a guest. Want to guess what their topic of conversation was?”
“I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”
“The art of giving unforgettable blowjobs, “so good he’ll come in your mouth within minutes,” they say.” He rolled his eyes. “Very classy.”
“Interesting.” I smiled. “What’s the name of her friend’s podcast?”
“Figure that part out yourself.” He tossed the folder to me.
“You’ve done all the work ensuring she’ll be safe from scrutiny, right?”
