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“Not even to make our connection stronger and deeper?”
He refused to beat her ass simply to quench her curiosity. “We’ll get back to that. Talk to me about your grief. Where are you in that process?”
She cast her gaze to her lap, shying away from the question. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure about that?”
She squirmed in her seat. “I’m taking things one day at a time.”
Since Abel’s passing, Beck had read up on the stages of grief and talked to counselors at the hospital. He felt confident in his assessment. “No, you’re not. You’re keeping yourself busy and pleasing everyone else—especially Seth and me—to bury your feelings. That won’t make your grief go away.”
Heavenly tensed and said nothing.
“You haven’t cried in ten fucking days, since you scattered your dad’s ashes in Wisconsin. I’ve watched. Because you haven’t given yourself permission to break down or because you’re afraid to let go?”
“I said I’m fine.”
When he took her chin in his grip and tried to lift her face to his, she stubbornly resisted. “Pretending you didn’t lose him won’t bring him back.”
Tears filled her eyes. She blinked them back furiously, a mulish cast to her mouth. Clearly, she didn’t like him peeling away her layers of protection. Too bad.
“I’m not pretending,” she snapped. “It’s only been seventeen days. I’m not sure how to let go.”
“Of the sorrow or your dad?”
“Both.”
“Your father will always be with you…here.” He pressed his palm to her heart. “But if you aren’t sure how to purge your grief, I can help.”
Finally, she lifted her head. “Though pain?”
He nodded. “If you want.”
A tremor quaked her. Sadness, indecision, then finally determination played over her face. “Please.”
She didn’t really know what she was asking for…but that one word nearly did him in.
Feeling both trepidatious and weak-kneed with thrill, Beck eased her off his chest and stood, scrubbing damp palms down his pants. Yes, he could give Heavenly an outlet to help her move on. But he was also going to leave his mark.
Without a word, Beck lifted the remote control off the table and pressed the button to close the blinds. The act of breaking her down and putting her back together was for his eyes only.
He extended his hand in her direction. Anxiety pinged off Heavenly as she bit her lip and stared at his wide palm. He didn’t press her to accept, simply waited for her to decide because he was asking her to place a whole new level of trust in him. He already knew she took time to process decisions, and her choice, to both give him the power to inflict pain and to pry into her emotions, was a huge one.
Finally, Heavenly slid her fingers into his hand. Beck’s heart clutched. And when she looked up at him, the faith in her big eyes damn near stopped it.
He’d do everything in his power to break her down without breaking her altogether. It had been forever since he’d restrained his beast on such a short fucking leash, but he’d strangle the fucker if he had to.
Beck sent Heavenly a reassuring smile as he helped her to her feet. When he released her, he widened his stance, squared his shoulders, and clasped his hands behind his back. The pulse point at her throat beat faster. Her gaze flitted nervously from his drilling stare to the plush rug beneath her feet.
“I don’t want you to kneel, little girl. I want you to strip. Bare every inch of your luscious body to me.”
With trembling hands, Heavenly tugged her shirt over her head. As the pink cotton whispered to the floor, Beck’s gaze locked on the lacy bra and her milky flesh beneath. Then she skimmed the straps down her arms and peeled the cups from her breasts before the undergarment floated to her feet. Her rosy nipples all but begged him to suckle until she shattered. Somehow, Beck managed to stand his ground and watch her wriggle from her yoga pants.
When she toed them off her ankles, she stood naked before him. God, had he ever seen anything more beautiful?
“Walk to the kitchen.” He gestured behind them.
With a tiny nod, Heavenly swallowed and glided to the other room. Beck followed, taking in the sway of her hips and the pale curves of her ass he’d soon flush rosy.
