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The one question Seth had really hoped Beck’s brother wouldn’t ask. Still, he couldn’t be less than honest. “It never goes away. I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel better. Give you some light at the end of the dark tunnel. But no. First, you learn to breathe again. Then you learn to go through the motions until, one day, you realize that you’re living without them. And that’s okay. It’s not the life you had before. Nothing will bring that back. But sometimes…” Seth gripped the steering wheel and gave him the unvarnished truth. “Sometimes you find something even better. And it hurts like hell to admit that, but I can sit here today and tell you that I’m incredibly happy sharing Heavenly with your brother. She is the perfect woman for me, and your brother… Well, I’ve got four of my own, but Beck has become a different sort of brother. I can’t explain it. I just know that my life is better for loving them. So believe that something good will come your way, too.”
Zach shook his head. “I’m not looking to find love again.”
Seth gave him a wry smile. “Yeah, I said the same thing, too. And you’ve already got your hookup game down. Good for you. I mean that. Sincerely. It will get you through the next few months at least, maybe the next few years. But I’m telling you, there will come a point when you meet someone who will change your mind. You can fight it all you want…but that need for her will win.” When he saw Zach’s doubt, Seth shrugged. “But you’re a while from that.”
The other guy nodded. “A long while. You found Heavenly and my brother, and I’m happy for you all. But if I’m honest, I wasn’t eager to get married the first time. I doubt I’ll do it again.”
Seth didn’t argue, but he knew better. Someday, Zach would want his life to mean something, and he would want someone to share it with. “Understood. I just wanted to let you know that, if you ever need someone to talk to or have any questions about grieving and healing or whatever…I’m here.”
Zach looked surprised. “And that won’t bother or upset you anymore?”
He couldn’t lie and say he’d never be upset by trekking into dark memories again, but… “I’ve worked through a lot, even in the last few months. When you first lost your family, I saw your face. I knew what you felt. It brought all that back for me. But now I realize how far I’ve come, and that I can help get you to a better place—if you need.”
“Thanks.” Beck’s brother nodded. “I appreciate that. And I know this conversation couldn’t have been easy for you.”
“Fu—” Seth cleared his throat. “I mean, no. I was sweating bullets. But…it wasn’t too bad.” He gave Zach a mock punch on the shoulder. “Just like your brother, I guess you’re not half bad.”
“I’ll pretend there’s a compliment in there somewhere.” A sly smile curled Zach’s lips.
“Maybe a little.” Seth reached onto the dash between them. “Donut? If you don’t take your pick now, Beck will eat them.”
“Will he?”
“Oh, for a doctor, Beck has a surprisingly hard-core sweet tooth. I’m telling you, eat your favorite now. Once we get there, I can’t guarantee you’ll get anything but crumbs.”
“I’m fond of these apple fritters.” Zach filched it and took a big bite.
“Just like your brother. I’m swiping this Boston cream. Let’s not tell anyone. Just…mix those around. No one will know.”
With a conspiratorial glint in his eyes, Zach did. “Our secret.”
Just like all the feelings they grappled with following their respective losses. No one else would understand anyway.
Seth was licking the last of the donut from his fingers and noticing Zach do the same when they pulled up in front of River and Dean’s new place. Beck and Heavenly had already arrived, as had most everyone who had agreed to help. “You ready?”
“I’ve raised a barn in a day. I think I can move a little furniture.”
With a glance between Beck’s brother and the new house, he shrugged. “You’d think. But never underestimate this gang’s ability to take something mundane and turn it into a—excuse my language—shitshow.”
Zach shrugged. “I figured. Let’s go.”
* * *
Beck breathed a sigh of relief as he caught sight of Seth and Zach marching up the walkway to River and Dean’s new pad, box of donuts in hand and smiles on their faces. He curled his arm around Heavenly. “Look.”
She did, then sent him a soft stare. “He’s okay.”
“Seems like they both are.” And thank god. Beck didn’t know why Seth had been determined to see his brother this morning, but whatever words they’d exchanged had apparently given them both some peace. “Hey!”
Seth met his stare first and responded with a thumbs-up. “I brought donuts, so if you need a little fuel before we get started…”
“Apple fritter?” Beck asked hopefully.
Cooper repressed a smile. “Sorry. They were completely out. But you can prowl through the rest and find something you like.”
“What a shame.” Zach looked as if he was trying not to laugh.
Clearly, those two were up to something, but if the secret helped them coexist—and even bond—Beck didn’t need to know. He was just grateful.
