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“It’s really early,” I remind them. “I don’t even have morning sickness yet. Something might happen—”
Cassius pulls me into his arms and holds me against his chest. “Ah,bambina. It’s normal to be scared. Are you feeling scared?”
I squeeze my eyes shut and nod, my cheek pressed tightly against him. I’m scared for them. Scared for the baby. We went from trying to get pregnant to actually being pregnant in what feels like five minutes. Something might happen to the baby. I don’t know how to protect it and there are so many people who wish us harm.
He kisses the top of my head and his deep voice rumbles in my ear. “I forget how young you are sometimes. Things are exciting when you’re eighteen and then suddenly the world turns upside down and seems terrifying. Is that how you feel?”
“I had such terrible dreams last night. They feel like an omen.”
He cups the back of my head and holds me tighter. Cassius’ warmth. His big body is the comfort I need. “There are so many good things in this world,bambina. Everything that’s good is a little bit terrifying, and children are the very best. You’re one of those things for me. The biggest thing.” He releases me and cups my face, his eyes sparkling. “And now our little one is, too.”
Cassius is unequivocally happy. I look around at the others and they’re all gazing at me with a mixture of love and excitement.
Lorenzo jerks his head toward the door and says softly, “Come on, I’ll check you over.”
He takes my hand and we go downstairs. He’s not looking me in the eye as he grasps me around my waist and lifts me on one of the tables. He takes my blood pressure and temperature without a word.
My heart races. Is he worried, too? I don’t know what I’ll do if Lorenzo is afraid. “Say something, would you?”
He swallows, hard, pulling the blood pressure cuff off my arm. “I’ll take care of it like mine, even if it’s not. Do you understand that?”
I put my hands on his shoulders. “I know you will. I never thought you wouldn’t.”
He nods sharply. “Good. Just so we’re clear. And you’ll have to put up with me poking and prodding you a lot from now on. I need to know everything about how you’re feeling and what your body is doing. How are you feeling, by the way? You said you didn’t have any morning sickness yet.”
I rub my belly and grimace. “I don’t know, maybe this is morning sickness. I feel awful.”
Lorenzo pauses, one brow raised. “Anxiety?”
“Can I tell you the truth?”
“You better tell me nothing but the fucking truth every day of your life, princess.”
“I don’t feel happy,” I confess in a whisper. “That makes me a horrible person, doesn’t it? The moment I laid eyes on the tests all lined up in a row as I waited for the results, I started to panic.”
“Do you want the baby?”
“Yes, I do. But…”
Lorenzo braces his hands on either side of me against the table and gives me a severe glare. “Hey. You know all my gruesome thoughts. You’re not going to shock me. Say what you’re really thinking.”
The four little tests lined up like tombstones. My men don’t just have Coldlake, each other, and me to look out for now. Soon we’ll have a tiny, vulnerable baby.
“I’m scared this baby is going to get one of you killed,” I confess in a whisper. “ThatI’mgoing to get one of you killed. I’m scared that there might come a day when one of you will sacrifice your life for us, because this baby will be something you love more than yourselves.”
He gives me a lopsided smile and puts his palm flat against my belly. “Ah, princess. Always looking out for us. You don’t doubt that we would do that? Sacrifice ourselves for this baby, even if it’s not biologically ours?”
I shake my head. “Not for a second.”
“Good. Because that’s what we would do,” Salvatore says from the doorway.
I look up at him, then at Vinicius and Cassius as they step into the room. They’ve heard everything that Lorenzo and I have said to each other.
Cassius kisses the top of my head and murmurs, “But just because we would, doesn’t mean we’ll have to.”
I take a deep breath and nod. They’re all being so brave about this, and I have to be just as strong for them.
Vinicius squeezes my shoulder. “Listen to Cassius. We are four of the biggest, meanest assholes in Coldlake. We are going to keep you and this baby safe, and we are going to love every second that we have the privilege to do so.”
