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“I saw a couple of pregnancy tests in the waste basket in the bathroom at Mad Love, and I just assumed they were yours.”
“Pregnancy tests?” I looked at my mom, who had for the duration of this discussion remained quiet.
“Mom?”
She bit her lip. “That would be me.”
“You’re pregnant?” I asked.
She nodded slowly.
“At forty-six? With Mitch?”
“Yes. I know. It’s come as a total surprise.”
“Through IVF or frozen eggs?” My voice went up a register.
“Oh God, no. It just happened. I’m pregnant. Ridiculous. But kind of lovely too. A gift.” She smiled.
“And you were going to tell me when?” I asked.
“I wanted to be sure. I just got the official test results, and I’m eight weeks pregnant.” Her beaming smile could have lit up New York.
ONE YEAR LATER…
I held Jupiter in my arms. I hadn’t mistakenly drunk my mother’s full-moon brew. That was my new baby brother’s name and not me clutching the actual planet.
My mother had chosen to name him after the Roman sun god. I’d just shaken my head in protest and threatened to call the human rights abuse hotline, for subjecting him to years of mockery.
I tapped his cute little nose and pulled a silly face, something I couldn’t stop doing around him. “Don’t worry. We’ll call you Joe or, if you like, Jupe.”
We were staying in Maine, where my mother had rented an airy colonial home right on the water’s edge. The house was so close that the waves might have swallowed us while we slept. Chase had to reassure me that there were no tsunamis in this region.
Chase wandered into the living room as I rocked Jupiter. I’d bonded with him instantly. Apart from Sara’s Dylan, I didn’t have much experience with babies. I thought I wouldn’t like nursing them, but Jupiter was so cute and funny. He was a joy, even when he was pooping and throwing up. He didn’t seem to do too much of that, though. Not like Dylan.
Chase pulled a silly face, and Jupiter smiled, which lit up both our faces.
“Do you think he’s ready for the ceremony?” Chase asked. He tickled Jupiter’s belly, and my brother’s tiny giggles kept me smiling.
My mother entered the room wearing what she described as her ceremonial gear: a white gown and green velvet cape.
“He probably needs to eat,” she said, taking Jupiter from my arms. “I’ve pumped enough for two days, so I can let my hair down and drink to his health.”
I passed the baby into her arms. She was a doting mother. Her face filled with so much love, I thought she might cry.
“I’ve never seen you like this before, Mom,” I said.
“I was exactly the same with you, darling. My heart felt like it was going to explode with love then. Just like now.” She kissed Jupiter’s chubby little cheek again.
Taking me by surprise, my mother’s confession of love for me as a baby made me choke up with emotion, and my eyes watered. That teary response had come out of nowhere.
While I was growing up, my dad was the one who’d given me hugs, tossed a ball, or bought me toys. At times, I even wondered if I was an interruption to my mother’s life, especially when I was a teenager. Losing my dad had messed me up, and if I’d ever needed love and reassurance, it was then. I guess my mother showed her love in other ways. I was only starting to see that now.
Chase gave me a gentle, sympathetic smile and drew me in toward him. He kissed the top of my head, and I felt the warmth of his affection radiate through me. His fingers intertwined with mine, and he made me feel secure and loved.
I took Jupiter from my mother’s hands. “Here, I can hold him while you go and get ready.”
“Thanks, darling.” She handed me the chubby baby. Her eyes shone with understanding and love. I think my new little brother had brought us closer.
