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Chase
Afterabusymorning in the office going through the technical requirements for the Elixir presentation with Jenny, it was now midday and I found myself in the boardroom, surrounded by six reps from Elixir.
I stared bleary-eyed into the screen. Having seen that slideshow often enough, I didn’t need to watch it again and could allow the artwork and slogans to do their own pitching. Instead, I peered out the window and into the windows of other boardrooms, wondering if they were having to sell their souls to a bunch of unfriendly execs.
I entertained the idea of breathing fire or swallowing a sword—anything to shake things up and have those crusty men and women show a spark of interest. Like me, most looked like they’d had a big night. Or was that my blurry vision after a night of heavy fucking?
Who would have thought all that talk about couples staring lovingly into each other’s eyes and chakra balancing could turn a pair of cynical reprobates into sweaty writhing wrecks?
I was still trying to process Mitchell as Ivy’s ex. That was one shoe that didn’t fit.
“Your mom’s hot,” I’d said as a way of baiting Ivy, a cruel habit, but worth the feisty response.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” she’d spat.
I doubled over in laughter. Her big, beautiful eyes were wide and sexy.
“Why would I go for the vintage version when I can have the latest model?” I asked.
“Vintage is popular. It’s classier and built from sturdier materials,” she replied soberly.
“I’m into the racier, younger models. They’re fast. They’re agile and full of surprises.”
She slapped my shoulder, and I grabbed her wrists, pushed her gently against the wall, and fucked her till she was all rosy-cheeked and my head exploded into stars.
Snapping out of my Ivy daydream, I returned my attention to the screen. Seeing that the slideshow had come to an end, I held my breath, waiting for the clients’ response to my campaign.
Much to my delight, as soon as the slides finished, I heard a room of chuckles. Whether they were poking fun or genuinely amused, I couldn’t say, but at least they’d finally livened up.
“That’s the best pitch we’ve had all year,” the CFO declared.
My chest unwound, and I almost felt like joining the gliding birds I’d been watching outside the window and doing one of those aerial somersaults nimble aircrafts were known for.
After lots of backslapping and handshaking, I left with a lump of pride in my chest. I’d grown an inch or two.
I stepped into my office and called Ivy. “Hey, beautiful. It’s been a long time.”
She giggled. “Yeah, like three hours ago. How did it go?”
“It went really well.”
“See, I told you. I knew it. I loved it. Those pussies are so cute.”
“Not as cute as your pussy,” I said.
“You’ve got sex on the brain.”
“So do you.” My eyes burned. It was one o’clock. I needed a siesta big time.
“Do you really want to go to the spa this weekend? Or was that just you being nice?” she asked.
“No. I want to go.”
“You’ll have to do things like colonic irrigation, a juice fast on wheatgrass, yoga, and self-empowering chants, like ‘I’m a beautiful being, and the world is my lover.’”
I laughed at her droll tone. “What’s colonic irrigation?”
“That’s where they stick a tube up your ass, and you’re purged.”
