AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I swipe the tears away, drawing in a shuddering breath.
Ryder stirs beside me, his arm tightening around my waist as if he can’t bear to be apart from me, even in his dreams.
I glance over at Mom and the pit in my stomach churns.
She looks so peaceful. But it’s a ruse. A mask hiding the pain and agony and despair that lives inside her.
It isn’t fair.
None of it.
She’s a good person, the best person I know. She doesn’t deserve this, she doesn’t—
“Shh, darlin’. I got you.”
I don’t even realize I’m sobbing until Ryder wipes the tears from my face.
He cups my cheek, his eyes full of sympathy. “It’s the middle of the night. You should try and get some sleep.”
“I can’t. Every time I close my eyes—”
A garbled sob spills from my lips and he hugs me tighter, rolling onto his back so he can pull me into his side.
“I’m sorry, Kat. Wish I could fucking fix things for you.”
“Just you being here helps, thank you.”
“You know he’d be here too, if he could.”
“Yeah, I know.”
A beat passes, and then I whisper. “I’m still mad at you.”
“We fucked up, Kitten. But I need you to know everything I said, everything we did, it was real.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. Some days I feel like I’m losing my mind.”
“You’re hurting, darlin’ and that’s okay. Watching someone you love deteriorate… well it sucks ass. But you’ll regret it if you don’t stay the course. Spend as much time as you can with her while she’s still here.”
A lump sticks in my throat as I imagine her not being here.
“My brother hates me,” I whisper, my chest aching with the words.
“Nah, he doesn’t. He’s hurting too, Kat. It affects people differently. And he’s a guy, we’re kind of clueless when it comes to this stuff.”
“He said some really mean things to me.”
“And I’ll kick his ass for it if you want me too. But emotions run high when bad things happen. People say all kinds of shit they don’t mean in the heat of the moment. I bet he’s with River right now saying the same things to her that you’re telling me.”
“You think?”
“No, Kitten. I know.” Ryder curves his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me in for a kiss. It isn’t like our usual kisses, hot and full of passion. This is slower, heated but full of something else. Understanding. Comfort. Love.
The thought hits me out of left field.
Ryder doesn’t love me.
He can’t.
