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Hearing her call me her sister’s name, who passed away when I was little, makes the tears really start to flow.
“So, are you going to be in town by the time the baby’s born? It sure would be cool if you could be here.”
“Yeah, Mom.” I try my hardest to cover the sobs escaping my mouth. I don’t want to worry her even more by hearing me cry.
Nate comes over to me and places his hand on my shoulder. When he sees I’m crying, he wraps me in his arms.
“God, Linda, it is so good to hear your voice,” my mom continues. “I know I can’t keep you, so I’ll let you go. I’ve got a busy day, and I need to get to it.”
She always does this. Calls me for two seconds and then gets off the phone just as quick, like she has other things she has to do.
“Okay, Mom.” I bite back more tears. “Love you.”
“Oh, baby. I love you. So much. Talk to you later.”
“Bye.” I hang up the phone and curl into Nate’s chest, crying uncontrollably.
Every time I talk to her, it’s different, but lately, it’s been getting more incoherent than before. There are times I can be all business and deal with each situation as it arises, like for her care or selling my childhood home. But then there are times where I’m just a daughter who’s watching her mom slip away right in front of her eyes.
I spoke to one of her caregivers, and her exact words were, “She’s not getting worse by the day; she’s getting worse by the hour.”
Losing her like this is too much. I’ve heard people say it’s the long good-bye, and that is absolutely the truth.
Once I am able to gather myself, we grab our things and head into the hotel lobby to get checked in. We thankfully have the night off, and I can’t wait to take a hot bath and lie in bed with a movie.
The guys all step back from the entrance and wait for me to enter. I always smile at their manners, showing how these boys were raised, and no matter how much of a family-like bond we’ve created, they always say, “Ladies first.”
I grin at them all as I walk by, but I instantly stop in my tracks when I see Matthew standing in the middle of the lobby.
My entire body freezes as I stare at the man I’ve loved since I was fourteen. I waited an entire year for him to finally make his move, and nothing has ever changed about the way I feel about him.
But seeing him here, in Idaho, at our hotel …
I’m speechless.
Our eyes meet, and he holds out his hand to me.
I turn to the guys, who are all standing there with shit-eating grins on their faces. Obviously, they knew he was here.
I look back to Matthew as he stands there with his hand stretched out to me.
“Hannah,” he says when I don’t step toward him, “don’t push me away. I told you, I’m here for you, and I’ll always be here for you.”
He takes a step closer, and I instantly take a step back.
I’ve never been so scared in my life. I want him more than I want to breathe, but I just don’t know how we can make it work.
“Don’t be afraid of us.”
A tear falls down my face.
“Love is all we need, and we have plenty of that—I know it.”
He’s right. My parents never had this kind of love. My mom used to tell me she wished she and my dad were like me and Matthew when they were together.
We always had that easy love. He was more than my boyfriend; he was my best friend. And five years apart didn’t change a thing.
He motions with his fingers for me to come closer. I finally let everything I had holding me back break open, and I rush to him, jumping in his arms and kissing him while I hold his head in my hands.
