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‘Lia,’ he said finally.
‘What? I know you didn’t feel the same way then, don’t worry.’
Another long moment passed and then abruptly he turned and moved over to the fire, his back to her.
He was so tall, so broad. Outlined in flames he seemed somehow otherworldly. A demon or a dark angel, or even the Devil himself come to take her soul.
An eon passed and then he said, his voice roughened, ‘Why? Why did you feel that way about me? I didn’t even know you existed.’
She leaned forward and picked up her orange juice again, sipping at it, staring at his dark figure. He’d changed the subject, directing the topic away from himself, and now he’d turned away from her. Why? What was he trying to hide? Or did he not want to see her face?
Perhaps he needed honesty from her first before he shared anything with her and that was okay. She understood. Someone had to make the first move and it was clear that it wasn’t going to be him. And there was probably a reason for that.
A thread of stubborn determination wound through her, tightening.
She’d hated all the expectations heaped on her—yes, she could admit that now—yet she’d done the same thing to him. Thinking she knew him when, really, she didn’t.
She had to stop. She had to discover the man he actually was, not the man she’d always thought he was, and to do that she was going to have to give him the same honesty she demanded of him, earn his trust.
Why? When you’ve decided you’re not marrying him?
Well, all those nights they’d spent talking together had formed a bond of friendship surely? So that made him her friend. And friends trusted each other.
It’s not friendship you feel for him.
Her heartbeat speeded up, her breath catching, a knowledge she’d been avoiding shifting inside her, making her feel strangely vulnerable and uncertain.
He couldn’t be more than a friend to her, that had never been allowed. Besides, hadn’t she decided her feelings were of the teenage crush variety?
It is allowed now.
But something cold wound through and she shoved the thought away.
‘I watched you arrive at the palace,’ she said into the silence. ‘I saw you get out of the limo. Everyone around me was scared of you, but the moment I saw you I knew there was nothing to be afraid of. You were strong and powerful, but...steady. Calm. In control. I knew you weren’t going to be like Carlos. You were going to be different.’
He gave a rough laugh that held nothing but bitterness. ‘Si.So different that I got my brother’s fiancée pregnant.’
So, he blamed himself. He thought that night together was his fault. His mistake and now, here he was, taking responsibility. Fixing it.
To hell with that.
‘I wasn’t his fiancée at the time,’ she said. ‘That didn’t happen until after.’
‘You were his intended. You’ve been intended for him since you were both three years old.’
‘It wasn’t just you in that bed, Rafael. It was me as well.’
‘You were young. You were an innocent. You had no idea—’
‘What I was doing?’ Lia pushed herself to her feet, possessed by a sudden and intense need to take this burden from him or at least to share it.
He was always taking responsibility for things, always fixing things, and she understood that was his role, but he wasn’t the Regent with her.
With her, he’d always been just Rafael.
‘Yes, I was virgin and I let my feelings get the better of me,’ she went on. ‘I let my anger take control. But I could have got out of that bed at any time and I didn’t.’
‘You were inexperienced,’ he said, ignoring her. ‘Passion like that is so rare and once it takes hold of you—’
