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Why are you pushing him now? It won’t help anything and it’ll only make him angry all over again. You’ll have plenty of time to talk about this later.
That was true. And it seemed a pity to shatter the fragile sense of closeness they’d shared with an argument.
She already knew that they could argue with each other well enough, but what she really should be finding out was what they’d be like when they weren’t arguing.
Lia pulled her hand out of his grip and laid it on his chest, feeling his warmth and firm strength. ‘I’m sorry. If you don’t want to talk about it, then we won’t.’
His expression remained impassive, no hint of what he was feeling escaping, yet his gaze was so fierce. How could people not see how brightly he burned? They thought he was so cold and hard, but he wasn’t.
He was a volcano in an ice field and lava gleamed beneath the snow.
Then unexpectedly, he put his hand over hers where it rested on his shirt, his palm warm. ‘I shouldn’t have snapped at you,princesa.The truth is...that is not an easy part of my life to think about. My mother did not want a child. My birth was not her choice. But she had me anyway and cared for me as well as she could. It was upsetting when she died.’
Shock rippled through her. Not so much for what he’d said, but for the fact that he’d said it at all. And prefaced it with an apology.
But this was a gift, wasn’t it? He was giving her something of himself and this time she hadn’t had to ask for it.
It left her with other questions, such as why a mother would make it obvious to her child—to her blameless little boy—that he hadn’t been wanted.
Lia had never chosen for this pregnancy to happen, but she couldn’t imagine not wanting her baby, let alone making it clear to them that they weren’t a choice she wanted to make.
‘I can imagine,’ she said carefully, before pausing and thinking a moment. Then she went on a little hesitantly, because she wasn’t sure if this was something he’d considered or not. ‘Rafael, I...do want this baby. You know that, don’t you?’
His thumb moved gently, stroking her hand where it lay beneath his. ‘I assumed so, since you are still pregnant.’
‘Well, it’s true. My parents had difficulty conceiving and eventually they had to do it via IVF. And when I found out that I was pregnant, I...was upset. But I knew immediately that I would keep it, because it was yours.’ Her throat closed, realisation settling down inside her even as she said the words. ‘This baby is a gift, Rafael. It’s a gift for both of us.’
The look in his eyes shifted, some deep, powerful emotion rippling at last across his blunt, compelling features. He said nothing, letting go of her hand, but only to reach for her, drawing her in close, that hot, bright gaze on hers.
He didn’t know what to say, she understood that. Or, no, perhaps it was because there wastoomuch to say and he didn’t know where to begin, or even that he didn’t have the words for it.
But she knew one thing at least: what she’d said had meant something profound to him.
‘It’s all right,’ she said softly, so that he didn’t have to. ‘You don’t have to say anything. Just know I believe that with all my heart.’
His clothing was cool and damp where it pressed against her, the effects of his being out in the snow, but already she could feel the incredible heat of his body burning away the cold, burning into her.
Her only covering was the throw she’d wrapped around herself and she was still cold from her brief exposure to the outside air, but now he was warming her up. Making her feel hot and breathless and ready for him once again.
‘This marriage of ours will work, Lia.’ His voice was rough and demanding and full of an iron determination. ‘I’ll make sure of it. For the sake of our child’s happiness.’
‘Yes,’ she said simply, because how could she argue against their child being happy? She couldn’t and she didn’t want to, even if some small part of her ached for reasons she couldn’t articulate.
Rafael’s expression changed, his brows drawing down. ‘You’re not convinced?’
Damn. How had he managed to pick up on that sliver of doubt? Especially when she hadn’t said anything aloud?
‘Of course I’m convinced.’ She tried to sound firm. ‘Did I say I wasn’t?’
‘No, but your expression would say otherwise.’
Lia cursed herself silently. She’d become very good at hiding her emotions, at locking them down, so good that even those closest to her hadn’t known when she was in a temper or upset.
Well, everyone except Rafael. She didn’t know how he did it, but he always knew.
She stared at her hands where they were pressed to the crisp cotton of his shirt, trying to figure out why she was reluctant to tell him. Because what did it matter if she did? Weren’t husbands and wives supposed to be honest with each other?
‘Oh,’ she said on a long breath. ‘I was simply hoping that there might be some happiness left over for us, too.’
