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Perhaps what Rafael needed was simply someone to tell him, to show him what a good man he was. Strong and principled, and perhaps on the outside a little hard, but with a caring heart underneath that.
Well, she would be that someone.
Matias had needed a queen, but Rafael neededher.And while he might not ever say ‘I love you’ back, he needed her all the same and she knew the truth of that with every part of her.
Eventually the water cooled and she hauled herself out, drying herself off and going into the bedroom. He’d turned the heating up further, so she didn’t need the sweatpants and hoodie combo, but she had to put on something.
She was in his bedroom, a huge room with vast windows that looked out over the mountains. A massive bed was pushed up against the wall facing the windows, the frame heavy oak. A matching dresser, just as massive, stood against another wall, a door beyond it that must lead to an en-suite bathroom.
The decor was dark and luxurious, charcoal-greys and dark blues, and very masculine, and Lia liked it very much. Especially when she could smell the faint hint of his delicious aftershave in the air.
The shirt of his she’d been wearing before was presumably still on the floor of the living area downstairs, so she went over to the tall dresser of polished oak that stood near the bed.
After a brief investigation of the drawers, she found a soft T-shirt that looked comfortable, so she pulled it out. Then something caught her eye.
A photo frame had been tucked beneath a layer of neatly folded shirts.
Lia frowned and pushed aside the fabric.
It was a photo of a beautiful woman with black hair and the same grey eyes as the little boy she was crouched next to, her arms around him. Both the woman and the boy were smiling at the camera, the swings and slides of a children’s playground behind them.
A little shock went through her as recognition dawned.
This was a picture of Rafael and his mother, wasn’t it? The mother who’d never wanted a child and who’d never liked him, or so he’d said. The mother who was nevertheless holding him and smiling.
‘What are you doing, Lia?’
Lia froze as Rafael’s deep voice came from the doorway, her heart kicking in her chest. She felt oddly as if she’d been discovered doing something she shouldn’t, which was ridiculous when she’d only been looking for something to wear.
She turned around to face him.
He’d taken a few steps into the room, his expression merely curious rather than angry.
‘I was trying to find a T-shirt to wear,’ she said. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude on your privacy.’
He lifted one muscular shoulder. ‘This will be your room, too. No apology is necessary. Did you find one?’ His gaze fell to the still-open drawer and the photo in it, no longer buried by clothing. He went abruptly still.
Lia felt the temperature of the air plunging as if he’d opened the door to the outside and all the snow was blowing in.
She took a small breath. This photo meant something to him obviously, but nothing good, that was also clear.
He is hiding something from you.
Oh, she knew that already. And she’d pushed her instincts to ask him about it to one side, telling herself that there would be plenty of time later to discuss it. And she still could. She didn’t have to push him now and what would it accomplish anyway?
But isn’t this what you’ve been doing all your life? Doing what other people want. Doing what you’re told. Doing what’s expected of you. How does that help? What does it achieve?
A shiver of realisation went through her.
Nothing. It achieved nothing and it changed nothing. It didn’t make anything worse, but it didn’t make it better either.
Is that what you want your marriage to be like? You avoiding tackling painful subjects because you don’t want to rock the boat? What are you afraid of?
Oh, but she knew the answer to that. It had been inside her this whole time if she’d only been brave enough to look. Except she’d never been brave enough until now. Until she’d fallen in love with Rafael Navarro.
Her fear was there, a cold kernel in her heart, of not being the good, quiet girl her parents wanted her to be, of not meeting their expectations. Of disappointing them after they’d endured so much to have her.
The fear of not being good enough to love on her own.
