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‘Can I go home early? I really do have a pounding headache.’
I give her a warm smile. Today has been so hectic, no wonder she’s not feeling well, and to have a broken heart all the while. ‘Of course. If you need some time off, I understand. Grief is such a process and you have to wade through it at your own pace.’ If only I’d have known. ‘There’s bereavement leave – if you need to take it just let me know.’
She sniffles. ‘But then you’ll be here all alone.’
‘I’ll manage.’
With a wrinkled tissue, she dabs at her eyes. ‘No, it’s OK. It’s harder at home. Everywhere I look I’m reminded of Gran. Today, I just need to go lie in a dark room and close my eyes for a bit. I’ll be OK tomorrow.’
‘If you’re sure? Please reach out if you change your mind. I want you to know that I’ll support you however you need it.’
Not long after, I close up and head on home, dreaming about a very big glass of red wine and wondering how I missed Maisie’s grief, when it’s now so clearly written all over her features.
It reminds me of my dad and his flailing health, and I give him another call.
‘Hey, Dad, how are you feeling now?’
‘Grand, just grand. The expansion plan for Paddington has been approved so now we’re full steam ahead on that to try and get it opened before Christmas. I’m not sure we’ll get there, but you know your mother, she wants to capitalise on the Christmas market.’
‘So you haven’t managed to stay home?’
‘And do what? Wear my slippers and dressing gown like an old man? Never! Truly, Ellie, I’m fine. Fit as a fiddle. I was inspired after your call this morning. I know we need to make changes and Teddy is the key to that. If anything, I’ve taken a bit of the load off your mother’s shoulders by convincing her to let him take on a few other projects she had her sights set on.’
‘Really?’
‘She wasn’t happy about it, but she had no choice. How are things going there? How exactly are you planning to save that old place?’
I tell my father in detail what I’ve been up against and my plans for the library.
‘You’ll make a success of it yet.’
‘I still feel like I need to come home.’ Seeing the devastation on Maisie’s face brings it home how I’d feel if I lost my father while I followed my own dreams at Willow Grove.
‘Give it a bit more time. If we can’t get on top again, then I will let you know. I know your mother wants you back right this second, but let’s just see if Teddy can handle things first. Let’s at least give him the chance to try.’
‘OK, I will. I can’t leave until I’ve got 357 more members anyway.’
‘Get it done, Ellie. I know you can do it.’
We chat for another hour, and it strikes me these phone conversations are the first time my father has really opened up to me. Whatever is going on with him, it’s changed him for the better. He’s never been interested in my life outside of Astor, not in the usual way parents are. It’s nice to have this with him, and I only hope it doesn’t mean there’s anything serious going on.
Chapter 16
The next evening, I follow Sofia’s lengthy handwritten recipe for beef bourguignon. I’m planning to wow Harry with it for lunch tomorrow, but I’ve used too much flour to coat the beef. It sticks hard to the pot like glue no matter how much butter I use to try and soften it. Just as I’m about to phone Sofia and ask if its fixable there’s a knock at the door.
I wipe my hands on a tea towel and go to investigate. Through the peephole I see Finn standing there, hands deep in his pockets.
‘Hello, stranger,’ I say as I open the door feeling a flutter of excitement at the unexpected visit. We haven’t seen each other as much as I’d like because part of me still isn’t sure if I can make a life here when my family need me.
‘Hello, you.’ His gaze drops to my front, which is covered in white flour. ‘Cooking?’
‘You could call it that or burning would be another way to describe it. Come in. Would you like to stay for dinner?’
‘Sounds, erm, lovely. Love a well-charred meal.’
I give him a nudge with my hip. ‘I’m sure it’s salvageable. It’s all about the low and slow method … or something.’
He laughs. ‘I’m sorry I’ve come empty-handed.’
