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Jamie has fire in her eyes when she says, ‘Harry, the story you’ve just told me is heartbreaking but it’s not like you went on a murdering spree. You turned to alcohol to medicate yourself after suffering a traumatic incident at work. You used it as a coping mechanism because for a while, it did help. It blurred the edges; it helped you get through each dark and suffocating night. It went too far, and became an addiction. The addiction controlled you, not the other way around. I’m sure they can understand that. They’d be grown women by now, and I’m sure they could find it in their hearts to forgive you.’
My own eyes shine with tears. God, what a story. I want so much to embrace Harry and tell him he’s a good man, but I stay quiet and off to the side while internally I feel a whole gamut of emotions.
Harry takes a moment to consider it all. ‘I thought they might come looking for me, but they never have.’
‘How do you know that for sure?’
He raises his palms in the air. ‘I don’t. I was a ghost in Willow Grove. Until Elodie arrived the only person who ever spoke to me was Finn. He’s a well-meaning guy but he kept trying to link me in with places who help homeless people and I didn’t want that. Then Elodie arrived, this whirlwind who set out to make all these changes.She made me believe that anything was possible. That people might have been ignoring me out of politeness, not because they wanted to veer away from the scruffy homeless guy who stuffs newspapers up his sleeves to keep warm. It made me wonder how many of us have such little confidence that we begin to believe what others say about us. I told myself I didn’t matter and locals ignored me because I deserved it. Now I’m trying to reset my thinking. I’m trying to love myself again. But it’s going to be a long road …’
Finn slings an arm around me and I turn and rest my head on his chest, not caring who sees. Harry’s story has touched my soul. It takes a lot of courage to do such a thing, but what moves me most is that he recognises that in order to change, to have any sort of fulfilling life, he has to love himself first. Has to forgive himself.
‘God, Finn,’ I whisper. ‘This doesn’t happen often but I have no words.’ We step out of the cubicle so we don’t disturb Harry.
‘You know you’re going to save the library, right?’
‘Harryis single-handedly going to do that. Finn, you should have heard it. I’ve never listened to anything like it before. Harry shared it all. He’s seen the worst of what life has to offer and here he is, sharing it so bravely.’
‘He is one amazing fellow. Let’s hope this is the start of Harry gaining some confidence back and a having a second chance at life.’
‘Yes, yes, it’s the start of a new season in his life, no matter what he chooses to do. Are we still celebrating tonight? Didn’t Sofia say …’
‘Canapés at my place tonight,’ Sofia says as she leaves the cubicle. ‘Harry did such a marvellous job!’
‘Great!’ Harry has more members lined up to borrow him but part of me worries that it’ll take too much of an emotional toll.
Jamie gives him a big hug and holds on tight. ‘Thank you for sharing your story with me, Harry. You matter – I want you to know that. You matter tome. And I hope we can catch up again outside of here. While I didn’t know much about you, I did know you slept by the library and not once did I think of asking you how you were, or if I could sit with you for a few minutes. This is going to make me think twice about being absent when I could be present. You’ve opened up my eyes, Harry. And I wish you peace.’ She taps his heart. ‘Peace and good things to come.’
After their goodbyes I approach him.
‘Harry,thank youfor sharing your story. You’ve blown me away. I’m so damn proud of you.’
He smiles and it lights up his ruddy face. ‘It’s liberating – I can’t tell you how much. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can’t wait for the next “reader”.’
‘That’s great to hear! But do let me know if you start to find them tiring. We need to look after our human books, and make sure you don’t overexert yourself, OK?’
‘Sure, I’ll let you know.’
‘Sofia is doing canapés at her place tonight to celebrate.’
‘I’m going to be round the way she keeps feeding me.’
‘Aren’t we all.’ I laugh.
At the end of the day I check our membership numbers to find we have 205 to go. If we have another busy day like we did for Harry, we’ll get a step closer. I only hope the novelty doesn’t wear off before we get there.
Chapter 18
By the time the Friday night arrives, I’m ready to fall into a deep slumber and sleep for a week. The air is chilly as an autumnal breeze rattles the windows in the cottage. A draught creeps in, whistling as if introducing the new season. I’m about to throw myself into a warm bubble bath when Finn arrives on the doorstep brandishing champagne and flowers. All we’ve done is toast to the success of the People Library and used any excuse to eat in Sofia’s kitchen.
‘I know, I know,’ Finn says reading my expression. ‘My jeans are getting tight from all these catch-ups, but I figured it’s Friday and we’ve got all weekend to drink fizzy water in the hopes of rejuvenation.’
‘In that case …’ I say and let him in, not caring one iota that I’m in flannel PJs and fluffy socks. ‘You’re overdressed.’
‘I wish I’d known we were having a pyjama party.’
‘It’s Friday – what else would we be doing?’ The blissful feeling of not having to don a gown and heels for an Astor event still hasn’t waned and I don’t think it ever will.
‘Right.’ He grins.
