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Gabi reflected. “Wanting to be with them all the time. Wanting to share stuff all the time. Going out together and giving gifts. Adoring and spoiling her because she’s the only thing in my life that matters. Never wanting to be away from her.”
Aisha took Gabi’s hand and brought it to her lips. “That’s not needy. That’s loving someone. I want that. I want that with you.”
Gabi’s throat tightened, and her eyes burned. Tears welled, and she wiped them away. She felt like the eighteen-year-old she’d been when Lillian had accused her, exposed and very lonely. “Someone told me that I was needy.”
Aisha cupped Gabi’s cheek and kissed her. “Well, they were wrong.”
Aisha’s lips were soft and warm, her touch tender and caressing, and Gabi felt no shame in needing her and feeling needed by her.
She looked towards the lights, the music, and stepped away a little. “I love you. Leaving here without you would break my heart, but I would do that if it meant you were safe.”
Aisha shook her head. “I don’t want safe. I want to feel my heart beating with love.”
“And your family?”
“I want to be with you. That’s my choice.”
Gabi couldn’t be sure it wasn’t the drink that had done the talking, and if there was any running away going to happen, it needed a lot more planning and time. And she had Nana to consider. It was a mindfuck that she didn’t have the first clue how to process. “And what about when you start missing them so badly it hurts?” She was pushing Aisha because this wasn’t a decision they could take lightly.
Aisha squeezed her hands together. She looked towards the party and the land around them. “I don’t know about the future. But I have to leave. Staying here will destroy me.”
Aisha was right, and it would crucify Gabi if she’d had to live in this community. But Aisha’s love of her family was so strong. Maybe Aisha wouldn’t realise what she missed until it was too late. Gabi wanted to be with her, and she didn’t want to leave Nana alone. It was too much to process and not a conversation to be had while drunk. “Come to the café tomorrow, and we can talk about it.”
Aisha stared at Gabi. “I will.”
Gabi kissed her and her heart melted. “Come on, let’s get back before your mama sends out the hunters.”
Aisha laughed.
Gabi couldn’t quite make out the woman in the darkness as they approached the houses just short of the main party and shortened her stride. She looked back across the field and couldn’t make out exactly where they’d just walked from, apart from recognising the silhouette of the small outbuilding a short distance away. She released a sigh when Aisha’s sister stepped out of the shadows and greeted them.
Conchita addressed Aisha. “Where have you been?”
“We went for a walk. The stars are so bright tonight. It’s a beautiful evening.”
Aisha brushed against Gabi’s arm, and Gabi felt Conchita’s gaze zero in on the contact between them. The smell of their lovemaking hung in the air, and she hoped Conchita was too naïve to know it. Heat flooded her, and she surreptitiously checked the buttons on her jeans while creating a space between her and Aisha.
“Mama has been looking for you,” Conchita said.
Gabi’s stomach lurched.
Aisha shrugged. “What does she want?”
“I don’t know.”
As they approached the party, Pilar greeted them, gesticulating wildly and smiling as if she’d just won the lotto. Gabi thought she’d glared at her briefly, but she couldn’t be sure in the darkness.
“Nicolás, she’s here.” Pilar waved him over, brimming with excitement.
“Aisha, come dance with me. Everyone wants us to dance,” Nicolás said.
Gabi’s hate for him centred in her chest, and she clenched her hands and shifted them to her back. He grabbed Aisha’s hand and led her towards the crowd.
Aisha glanced towards Gabi and mouthed, “Sorry.”
Gabi, aware that Pilar was staring at her with a grin that conveyed triumph, nodded. The lights of the approaching taxi caught Gabi’s eye, probably not soon enough for Aisha’s mama who she was sure would have gladly seen the back of Gabi earlier if it hadn’t been for Nana being so wonderful. They would have to go soon, and that would be a blessing. Gabi didn’t want to come back here. She didn’t want to see Aisha’s family or Nicolás ever again. She glanced around but couldn’t see Nana.
The wailing call pierced through the night, shrill and as fierce as the dance that would follow, and then the guitar fired up, and then the music stopped.
