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25.
“CARIÑO COME AND SITdown. There is a nice breakfast. I can make you eggs if you like.”
“I’m not hungry.” Gabi had struggled to eat anything since discovering that Aisha was engaged to the greasy-haired, flashy fuckwit that she now hated with a vengeance. As the week had passed, with that tick, tock feeling she’d had as a child, she’d become more convinced that the engagement hadn’t been what Aisha wanted.
Gabi had wandered around the streets for hours in a trance, earlier in the week, sat in the coffee shop Aisha had taken her to, and even visited the Alhambra on the bus. Suffering the stench on the bus had been awful that day, and she’d walked along the river in the vain hope of seeing Aisha. All those hours had reminded her of what she missed and drinking herself into a stupor helped blot out the reality for long enough to get some sleep. But the mornings threw light on the truth, and that brought tears and confusion.
She’d walked past the group on Saturday, hoping to get a moment to speak to Aisha alone. There had been something different in the way Aisha had danced. Still with passion but distanced from the crowd and her movements tighter, angrier. The onlookers cheered and clapped loudly. They wouldn’t have noticed the subtlety that Gabi had. Gabi hadn’t been able to connect with the music and watchinghimguarding Aisha closely had fuelled her wrath, so she’d slipped away through the crowd before either of them could catch sight of her.
She’d berated herself for not trying to find a way to get to Aisha, but how could she set herself up for further rejection when her heart was raw? She could hardly front up to Aisha with that smarmy bastard listening to their conversation. He would pick up on the strain between her and Aisha, she was sure. He would relay everything back to Pilar the Hun, and she didn’t want to cause Aisha any more grief than she already had. She had no idea what the Hun might be capable of, but her gut and the way Pilar had looked at Gabi told her that she’d do almost anything to make sure Aisha got married. It wasn’t a mother’s love, it was matriarchal control, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth and an uneasy feeling in her stomach that had vied with the daily hangover ever since.
“I’m not asking you, Gabriela. Sit down.”
Gabi sat and felt like an inconsolable child that had lost its favourite toy and become petulant. She deserved to voice her moodiness. Who wouldn’t under the circumstances?
Nana stood. “Drink the juice. It’s Pablo’s oranges, and they are excelente.”
Gabi didn’t give a fuck about the oranges. She sipped, and the juice chilled her mouth. She expected acid and found sweet, and it was pleasant. Her head throbbed, as it had all week. A regular feature of her greeting the day, and she hated herself for how quickly she’d reverted to her old drinking habit to drown out what she couldn’t deal with. One custom she had changed was the one-night stands. Sex with any other woman wasn’t on the cards while she felt the way she did, though she had been approached at the bars she’d frequented. One woman, she couldn’t even remember what she looked like, had sat at Gabi’s table, and Gabi had quickly excused herself to avoid conversation, preferring to wallow in her anguish alone. That’s how she knew her heart was broken, and it’s how she knew she wasn’t finished with Aisha.
“I’ll make eggs,” Nana said.
Gabi was over the shock now, just pissed off and very, very sad. She held back the tears as Nana cooked. But her eyes had become like the bloody fountains, spouting water day and night whenever she thought about Aisha, which was pretty much all her waking hours. Aisha had been the best thing that had ever happened to her. She recalled their first missed meeting at the fountain. She knew why Aisha hadn’t come back for her this time, when Aisha knew exactly where to find her. Because she couldn’t get away. She was virtually a prisoner within her own community.
Gabi had taken the bus to Aisha’s house yesterday in a fit of needing to do something to stop the pain of uncertainty ripping her apart. She had no plan. She’d watched from a distance and saw Aisha sitting next to Nicolás under the tree in the field. Pilar the Hun waved and smiled at them. He put his arm around Aisha. She pulled away. Gabi couldn’t read Aisha’s confusing body language, but she’d realised that she couldn’t just turn up at Aisha’s house. It wouldn’t be a warm welcome. And what would she do? Take flowers and congratulate Aisha on her engagement? Take a ring and ask her to run away as Aisha had asked her to beforehestepped in and blasted Gabi’s happy bubble to smithereens. Fuckwit.
Nana returned with two dishes of eggs, crispy bacon, spicy salsa, and guacamole. She sat and gazed at Gabi. “Cariño, what are we going to do?”
Gabi picked up the fork, prodded the salty bacon and ate it. “I don’t know.”
Nana cut open an egg and spilled the yolk onto the salsa. She collected a small morsel of everything onto her fork and ate it. “Excelente.” She ate another mouthful and dabbed the corners of her lips with a serviette. “There’s something I need to tell you, Gabriela, and I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear it, but I won’t rest until you know the truth, and I hope it might help you with your own situation.”
“You’re going to stay here, aren’t you? I don’t blame you. You have Juan, why would you go back? I have to leave, Nana.”
“We will come to your point in a moment, if that’s okay. Yes, I have decided to stay, but there’s something else.” She cleared her throat and sipped her juice. “Juan is your real grandpa.”
Gabi choked on the salsa, and it burned like hell. She put down her fork and took a slug of juice. She tried to listen.
“Pregnant. Sex before marriage. Gitano laws. Punishable by death.”
Silence.
“What?” Gabi said.
Nana laughed.
Clearly Gabi had missed something.
“Gabriela, cariño, you didn’t think I was a prude, did you?” Nana sighed and stared into space. “It was wonderful and reckless. But when you’re young and in love, you don’t think like that, do you?”
It dawned on Gabi that Nana had been talking about her experience with Juan, which was a relief, because the death bit was particularly disturbing. Her thoughts took her to the beach with Aisha and what had become their last moments together behind the feed shed. Thrill had great power over laws. She went back to Nana’s opening point because the other words had become a jumbled reflection of her own scenario, and she didn’t like the way that felt. “So, Grandpa in England isn’t Grandpa?”
“No. He knew our son wasn’t his. He took on the role because it came with a good lifestyle. It got him away from the front line, and my father rewarded him financially. We never spoke about the pregnancy again.”
“Did Juan know?”
Nana ate a morsel of bread slowly. “I told him yesterday. I’ve seen him every day and we’ve talked a lot. Juan and I had never kept secrets from each other. I wanted him to know you, and you, him.”
“And what about Dad?” It was odd that he mattered now, but he did. There had been too many secrets, and this was important news. His real father was alive.
