AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Chapter 6
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me! ~ Text from Hailey to Pops
Ilay my head down on the bar and groan. A pint of beer lands in front of my face. I lift my face to take a sip before laying my head back down again.
“It’s a Smith day,” Pops yells behind him.
“Fried cheese curds coming up,” Carol responds.
“I didn’t say a word,” I mumble.
Pops lays a hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “You didn’t have to, Babycakes. I think I know my baby girl.”
He leaves to go help a customer. Good. I might tell dirty jokes to my dad, but I’m not comfortable talking about sex with him. I know he feels the same. He had to give me the sex talk when I was twelve and walked in on two people playing hide Pedro in the stockroom. I ran into the bar screaming Pedro’s missing. We need to find Pedro.
I have never seen Pops’ face redder than when he sat me down in the office and explained why we could call off the search party for Pedro. We haven’t discussed the birds and the bees since, and I plan to keep it that way.
Pops returns with a basket of fried cheese curds. I pop one in my mouth before I remember. “Ouch. Hot. Burn.” I take a slug of beer and sigh in relief.
“You’re thirty-one years old and yet you forget to wait for the cheese curds to cool off every single time.” He shakes his head. “It’s like watching Suzie try to walk in high heels. You know it’s going to be a disaster and yet you can’t look away.”
“Shaddup.” I slap his arm. “I’m hungry.”
He snorts. “You’re always hungry. Drove me to the brink of bankruptcy when you were a teenager.”
“And yet, you love me.” I grin – my teeth covered in gooey cheese goodness – before I swallow the cheese curd I’m chewing on.
Pops grunts before putting his elbows on the bar and leaning forward. “By the way, you have company.”
“Company?” I find a ton of clients at the bar. Pops brags about my business and before you know it, another wronged wife is sitting in a bar where she doesn’t belong begging me to find out who her husband is schlepping.
Pops points to a booth in the corner. Definitely not a client. Aiden is sitting there surrounded by my uncles. I hope they’re giving him a hard time.
“Did he ask to see me?” Pops nods, and I groan. Yippee. He can wait. I’m not ruining the deliciousness of fried cheese curds with his presence.
“I don’t like him.” He doesn’t like any guys who come sniffing around me.
“Don’t worry. He’s not here to woo me. He probably wants to talk about the break-in at my office.” The words are out before I realize my mistake. I may have accidentally on purpose neglected to tell Pops about the break-in. Oops.
“What break-in?”
“It was nothing. Nothing was stolen. Probably some dude angry he got caught with his dick out.”
“And I already got her set up with a new set of locks and an alarm system,” Wally says as he joins us.
Pops turns on his friend. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me?”
He shrugs. “I thought Hails told you.”
Pops’ head looks like it’s about to explode. Time to make my exit. “Sorry. I need to go deal with the detective. Maybe he has a lead.”
As soon as I walk to the booth, Sid, Lenny, and Barney retreat. They grin at me before doing the whole I’m-watching-you-motion to Aiden. To his credit, Aiden doesn’t shake in his boots but nods in response. Of course, he nods. What am I thinking? He’s not here for any romantic reason. No. He’s here to discuss my case. Duh.
“Hey, Hails,” Barney says as he walks away. “How do you make a pool table laugh?” He doesn’t wait for my guess before he answers, “Tickle its balls.”
“Lame, Barney. Lame!”
“Hey, Detective,” I say as I scooch into the booth. “Did you find anything out about who may have ransacked my office?”
