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Chapter 23
SUKI
I hold on to him for dear life, he is grounding my soul right now.
Your monster…
How... how is it possible for this to have happened... he ismymonster. All those years ago, all those nights I did not want to go to sleep because I knew that he was only a dream, that he was not real and never would be again. And all the other nights when I forced myself to go to sleep because I needed to feel him again, feel him behind me, feel the fear traveling through my bones, the scream in my lungs, and the wetness between my thighs.
He was mine long before I found myself in his woods... he was mine, my monster.
I squeeze him tighter in my arms as I hear him take a big whiff of my hair. He is holding me so tight and I am not sure if it is for my benefit or his. But this... this here is pure affection. I am not wrong, I am not seeing things, I am not fooling myself. We have a connection that was built individually, separately for so many years and now... now the strands of our past and present are grabbing onto each other like invisible tentacles, pulling us closer and closer together.
We do not know each other, but our souls... our demons do.
Is this enough? Is this enough for me to stay? Will he tire of me eventually?
As my palms press harder onto his back, it suddenly dawns on me.
“Your tattoo,” I speak against his strong chest.
He rubs his fingers against the back of my neck and it takes everything in me not to start groaning at the involuntary massage. As I roll my head back, his fingers keep the rhythm.
“What about it?”
“It's... it is me. You have me...”
“Tattooed on my back.” His ocean blue eyes pull me into their depths, yet my heart feels like it is catching fire.
His lips crash onto mine, pressing painfully as he holds me tight and inhales slowly, deeply, like I am his life essence, and my heart cannot bare it. It bursts in a silent explosion that spreads like wildfire through me, ravaging everything in sight until it reaches my mind and I cannot take it, cannot keep it in… contain it.
I break the kiss, look at him, my lips parted, my breaths short, and I sink. I sink into his blue eyes because at this moment they are the only thing that can extinguish this explosion. He is right there, sinking with me, and I am not sure how I am certain of this. I do not know where we go from here. There aren't enough words to surmise what this means, this invisible connection that spans over years.
We swim back to the surface, together, and the mind clears. It is just us now. Looking into each other’s eyes. Our features expressionless. The sound of silence, calming. There are emotions in his eyes and I am not sure if he knows this.
I tilt my head to the left, and he mimics me. I quirk the corner of my lip up and so does he. And when his demons rise and his gaze turns dark, so does mine.
I feel a shift in the universe, and I know that he feels it too. As cliché as it sounds, this feels like the first day of the rest of our lives. Chapter one in an unwritten story. The prologue started that warm night in a dark San Francisco alley and ended last night. And if that was the prologue... what is the main story going to bring?
He presses his hands on my back and neck, pulling me back into his body and I do not resist. Holding me in his strong arms, my body surrenders and I feel like I could happily fall asleep. Deep inside, I know he needs this as much as I do, I feel it in the rhythm of his heartbeat, the flow of his blood pulsing through his veins. He needs this.
“Suki...”
“Yes.”
“Do you still have those dreams?”
“No.”
“When did they stop?” he asks, but his voice is laced with an unfamiliar insecurity.
“The same night you brought me here.”
There is silence as a slow breath escapes his lungs.
“But you had a nightmare that night. I woke you up, if you remember.”
He is right. The beautiful dreams I had of him all these years have been replaced by nightmares of Adrien. Almost like a chapter of my life ended, because the quest was finished. The object of my desires was found, and my mind was cleared to think of everything else that haunts me. And Adrien haunts me in the most disturbing of ways.
