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“I… I miss you too.”
There. It was out there now. The words had traveled two-thousand miles in the span of a second, and I couldn’t take them back.
“I miss all three of you actually,” I added, with the thought it might dilute the impact of my previous statement. In retrospect, it probably did the opposite. “I hate how I left you guys. That whole thing… I handled it wrong.”
Was that the other half of an apology? If so, it was very uncharacteristic of me. I couldn’t stand being wrong, and I hated eating crow. Still, uttering just these few words felt cathartic. Like lifting a weight from my already tense shoulders.
“It was a difficult situation,” said Gage. “I guess there was no easy way to put something like that.”
“But—”
“Look, you’re a direct person, Jules. It’s one of the things we admire about you. Never apologize for telling things how they are.”
He stretched, grunting softly into phone. It sounded manly. Sexy.
“Yeah, well there are better ways for sure,” I admitted. “I didn’t take any of your feelings into account, and that was wrong.”
My comforter felt heavy and secure now, warming me to a new level of relaxation. For a second I imagined Gage was behind me, pressing into me from behind. His long, beautiful arms wrapped tightly around me instead of the blanket.
“Everything else okay?” he asked.
I inhaled slowly, deeply, then let it out as a sigh. “Pretty much. Just some work stuff I have to sort through. Nothing I can’t handle.”
He chuckled gruffly. “I knowthat.”
“How about you guys?” I asked. “How’s Maverick? Still dangerous?”
“Dangerous as ever,” he said in his Iceman voice. “I won’t fly anywhere near him.”
My smile widened. “And Devyn?”
“Devyn’s Devyn” he said simply. “He’s a little quieter than normal, maybe. Which is fine by Maverick and I, believe me.”
Images floated back, mental pictures of the house, the guys, and everything we’d done in it. I wanted to focus on the good ones. But I kept seeing the helicopter, taking off. The three of them slowly exiting the kitchen, turning away from me after handing over their swabs.
“Do the others know you’re calling me?” I asked abruptly.
“No,” Gage admitted. “But they will tomorrow.”
“Because you tell each other everything.”
“Always, yes.”
I nodded into the phone. The longing was there again, the feelings growing stronger, more dangerous. Like Maverick buzzing the tower, in Top Gun.
“I gotta get some sleep,” I told Gage.
“Cool. No worries.”
“I have an early meeting tomorrow. It’s sort of important.”
“Kick its ass, then,” he said. “That’s an order.”
I sighed again, more sleepily this time.
“Goodnight Gage,” I breathed.
“Goodnight Jules.”
