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“No, of course not.”
“It just sort of happened, right?”
“Yes.”
“And why did it end?” I asked. “What broke it up? It was because you felt guilty, right?”
Tyler pursed his lips. He knew what I was driving at.
“No, my dear brother. It ended because the holidays were coming and you couldn’t be in two places at once. You couldn’t get away with going over to both girlfriend’s houses, meeting both families, and all that. So you dumped one, and you went with the other. Right?”
He looked bitter now, almost angry. But there was admission in his expression too.
“Yeah. That’s right.”
“Now let me ask you this,” I posed. “What would you have done if both these girls knew about each other and agreed to split time with you? Or better yet, just share you together?”
I let him stand there, going over the scenario in his mind. His face remained impassive. For a long time, he didn’t say anything.
“Let me answer the question for you,” I said. “You would’ve rolled with it. You would’ve loved it, enjoyed it, took it for what it was.”
He knew I was right. It was in his eyes, his expression, his whole body language.
“I was young,” he shrugged eventually.
“Yeah, so what?” I countered. “Tyler, this isme. This is my situation. Only these men not only know about each other, and they’re closer in ways that even brothers couldn’t fathom.”
I stepped directly in front of him, until our eyes locked. I could see the struggle. But beyond the struggle, there was also truth.
“I’m not going to pretend anymore, Tyler. This is what I have. This is what Iwant.”
“But our parents…” he pleaded.
“Are going to have to deal with it, eventually,” I said, shaking my head. “Everyone lives their own lives, Tyler. Everyone has their own triumphs and failures, everyone makes their own personal mistakes. Maybe this one’s mine. If so, I have every right to make it.”
I took his hand again, squeezing it gently.
“I don’t expect you to understand,” I murmured. “And you have every right to feel however you want. You can be disappointed with me, or with Jace, or with both. You can even disown me if you want—”
“I would never do that,” he interjected, shaking his head. “Never.”
“But I had to come clean with you,” I went on. “I couldn’t keep lying to my brother. I never wanted to in the first place.”
“Yeah, well you also got caught,” he pointed out.
“Sort of,” I smiled. “Maybe…”
He tilted his head, but at least he was returning my smile.
“Okay fine, I did get caught,” I admitted. “But I’m glad I did. I’m so happy we got this out in the open.”
The wind picked up again, bringing a late afternoon chill along with it. Tyler turned his back against it, shielding me with his body.
“Dakota… Dakota…” he sighed. He set his hands on his hips and shook his head. “Holy fucking shit, sis.”
“I know,” was all I could say.
“This is crazy,” he breathed. “You know that, right?”
