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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Anna woke wrapped in Skylar’s arms. His masculine scent put a contented smile on her face. They were alone in her house. There were only a few days left until Christmas Eve, and his family had taken Kyle with them to their Vermont home. She’d toyed with the idea of adopting him, but then Becca had fallen in love with the idea of adding to her family. Becca had already spoken to her husband about it, and he was on board. Their little boy Joey adored Kyle and was already trying to emulate him. Kyle would make an awesome big brother for the kid.
John Griffin had used his connections to make his daughter the boy’s guardian while the adoption process began.
Anna missed Kyle already, but he was better off with Becca. He’d have a real family with a father and little brother and other siblings if they had more children. Kyle deserved to have a real family.
It took her a moment to remember she had fallen asleep next to Skylar on her couch. They were still both fully clothed. They had talked about going up to bed late last night after their eyelids had grown heavy, but the couch was warm and comfortable. Neither of them wanted to move. A fire in the hearth had made the air toasty warm, adding to their lethargic mood.
She snuggled closer to him now, and his arms tightened around her in his sleep.
His breathing slowly changed. He was waking up. Buried in the groove of her neck, his face turned inward, and he kissed her just below the ear. It tickled. She squirmed while trying not to laugh. Joy filled her to the point of overflowing, and she didn’t know how to contain it. Thanksgiving was over, but she had so much to be grateful for. Kyle was free and would soon be part of the family—Skylar’s family. Her colleagues seemed to respect her now. Her career was on the right path, and she got to sleep in Skylar’s arms almost every night. He made love like it was his life’s mission. Her body hummed beneath his talented hands. Night after night, he brought her to such a euphoric state that sometimes she thought she might never come down.
There was just one fly in her soup, one insurmountable problem. She was in love with a man who couldn’t love her back. Although he hadn’t put it into words, she instinctively knew Skylar was not emotionally available. He was not open to love. Maybe he never would be.
Careful not to fall off the edge of the couch, she turned in his arms so that she was facing him. Her body fit perfectly with his. Her head rested on his chest below his chin, and his arms wrapped her in a tight cocoon as she settled against him. Warm and comfortable, she wished she could freeze the moment forever.
He kissed the top of her head before glancing over it at his watch. “Why did you let me sleep so late?”
She turned his arm and bent it at the elbow so she could check his watch for herself. “It’s only 7:30. That is not late.”
“We’re leaving for Vermont right after the Christmas Eve party, and I have a lot of work to do before then. I don’t want to be thinking about the office while we’re on holiday.”
She groaned. “I don’t want to move, but I have stuff to do at the office, too. Should we take one car?” When he hesitated, she changed her verbal direction, not wanting to be one of those clingy women that drove men crazy. “You probably have somewhere else you want to go later,” she said. “That’s fine. I can take my own car.”
He sat up and took her with him. “I would love to drive in with you, but I need to stay home tonight. Max is feeling neglected, and I have things to take care of around the house.”
An awkward tension filled her body. Did he feel it, too? It seemed like they constantly walked on broken glass around each other, both afraid to say the wrong thing. She didn’t know whathisproblem was, but she worried about opening herself up to being hurt. She wasn’t good at being vulnerable. Sooner or later, he would leave her. They always did.
She tried to be casual and worked hard not to attach any strings, but the whole thing went against her nature. They scurried around important issues, using sex as a binder instead of furthering their intimacy through communication and sharing. Every time they started to get into a real conversation she worried he was about to dump her. Why didn’t he just break her heart and get it over with?
Her inner voice screamed at him to be straight with her. He had her hoping and dreaming again. That wouldn’t lead anywhere good. Why couldn’t he be honest with her?
She chewed on her fingernail while contemplating saying the words aloud. She could make it easy for him, break up with him before he could break up with her. Wasn’t that their original agreement? That they’d pretend to be engaged until one of them got to dump the other?
Should she tell him they could still be friends?
The last thing she needed was someone who couldn’t love her in return.
“You okay?” Skylar asked, concern etched across his face.
“Yep.” She forced a smile and pushed falling hair out of her face. “I was just thinking about all the work I have to do.”
Anna realized her opening had arrived. She could tell Skylar she had too much work to do to go to Vermont. Then she could suggest they break up now. They needed to get back to real life, a life without each other. She had to walk away before he made it impossible, before she couldn’t live without him.
He slid an arm around her shoulders and pressed his warm lips to her temple. That was her undoing. The words stuck in her throat. She found it impossible to tell him what was on her mind. Besides, it would be mean to break up before the holidays. Everyone including his family would be miserable. That wasn’t fair to them.
She held her left hand up and admired the emerald ring resting on her finger. “You need to take the other one back. I’m stressed out enough worrying that I might lose this one. I don’t want to be responsible for two expensive rings.”
He grunted instead of using words.
Her thoughts turned to Kyle again, and a genuine smile curved her lips. “I still can’t believe you got the DA to drop the charges against Kyle. That was pretty spectacular.”
“My cousin Rena had that form of arthritis when she was thirteen. I recognized the symptoms and realized he couldn’t have stabbed anyone. No big deal.”
“It was an incredibly big deal. You saved a boy’s life.”
Sitting there, she gazed into his eyes while trying to memorize them. Bright blue like the Caribbean Sea, there were tiny golden specks near the pupils, and they had the magical ability to see into her soul. She felt like she could happily drown in them.
