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“I know,” she says again, proving that she’s right. She doesn't need my words. Just like I don’t need hers. I know how she feels, what she needs, when she hurts. It’s almost like she’s an extension of me. I’m also all too aware that all the pain she’s been through recently is because of me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Silence stretches between us as we both focus on the waves crashing up onto the sand before us.
“What now?” she says after what feels like the longest silence of my life.
“Now? I don’t know. What do you want?”
“You,” she says, making my breath catch.
“But—”
“Don’t argue with me and tell me that you’re not good enough or that I deserve better. That’s bullshit, and you know it. I know you, Cole. I see your darkness, I embrace it. And one day I hope you’re brave enough to share more about it with me. But you are good enough. You do deserve to be loved, to have a future. One that’s hopefully full of happiness and family and all the things you’ve missed out on.”
I nod at her, unable to say anything else with the emotion clogging my throat.
I want to tell her everything, like she just did me. But I’m not there yet. I can barely think about some of the things that went on in that trailer, let alone talk to another person about it. Even Hadley.
“We should probably go back up. Conner might have eaten the entire turkey by now.”
I chuckle at her, and she smiles back at me. It’s still so full of pain and regret, but there’s also hope in there. Hope that maybe everything will be okay in the end, that we’re not too damaged to actually have a shot at something.
“I’m sorry I accused you of fucking him.”
“I get it, Cole. I know how it could have looked. But you need to know that your brother is more loyal than you give him credit for. The whole time, he only had your best interests at heart. You’re so lucky to have him. Ace too.”
“I know. Come on then,” I say, pushing to my feet and holding my hand out for her.
The second she’s on her feet, I pull her into my body so we’re chest to chest and look down at her.
Her blonde hair blows lightly in the breeze, and the usual sparkle is returning to her eyes.
I can’t help but smile down at her.
“You blow me away, you know that, right?”
“I’m just me, Cole.”
“Yeah, and that’s a fucking incredible thing.” I brush my lips over hers once again before tugging her gently along behind me.
Voices coming from the living room sound out when we step into the kitchen.
We’re not even halfway through when Ellen comes rushing in with a tray full of empty glasses. “Ah, there you are. Is everything okay?” she asks, looking between the two of us with her brows pulled together.
“It will be. Can you do me a favor?” I ask before leaning in to whisper in her ear.
“Of course. Give me, say, ten minutes.”
“Sure thing. We’ll just…” I point to the door and give Hadley’s hand a squeeze.
As we come to a stop in the living room doorway, all conversation pauses as everyone turns to look at us.
I swear everyone holds their breaths as they wait for one of us to say something.
“I’m sorry for ruining dinner,” I say. The words are almost painful to get out, but I know that I need to start trying—in more ways than just with Hadley.
“It’s no problem, sweetie,” Sarah says, a slightly-too-wide smile plastered on her face.
