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“Okay, we’re going to arrange an ultrasound and some blood tests. I’m going to get you some sanitary towels and some water. I’ll be right back.”
She leaves, and the air turns cold, sending a shudder through me.
Cole leans against the wall, his gaze hard and unwavering
“Cole...” I reach for him. “We should probably prepare for the—”
“Don’t, please don’t. Everything will be okay. It has to be.”
I smother the rush of tears, turning my head to the side. I need to be strong for him, for myself.
The next hour passes by in a blur. The doctor visits and performs the ultrasound. He points out the sac. The tiny white mass that was supposed to be our baby. Then, after what feels like a lifetime, he snaps off his gloves and looks at us both with apologetic eyes and confirms what I already knew.
Our baby is gone.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Cole
There was nothing you could have done.
Sometimes these things just happen.
It wasn’t the right time.
Everything happens for a reason.
The words of the doctor and nurses we saw this morning run around my head as we make the silent drive back to Sterling Bay.
This weekend was meant to be amazing. It was meant to show us what our lives could be like once we graduate, but instead, everything has turned to shit.
Hadley’s concerned stare burns into the side of my face, but I don’t turn to look at her. I can’t. All of this is my fault.
All of it.
If I didn’t lose control last night, then none of this would have happened.
They can tell me all they like that there’s no reason, but I know the truth. I caused this.
I did this.
I remember how I forced her against the wall, how hard my hand connected with her skin as I spanked her, how hard I fucked her as I tried to punish her for lying to me.
Turns out that all I was doing was punishing myself, because as I did those things, I was ruining the only good thing I have in my life.
The only thing that makes me think I can change my life.
My lifeline.
My redemption.
“Cole?” Hadley breathes, and my entire body tenses. It’s not the first time she’s tried to talk to me since we stared at that screen and were forced to look at the evidence for what I was refusing to accept.
I killed our baby.
Hadley was nurturing it, loving it and protecting it, and I ruined everything.
“Don’t. I can’t.”
