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"Yep, more than capable. You want a lift?"
"Nah, you’re good. I'll make my own way."
"You sure?" I ask, not really wanting to abandon him but more than ready to fall into my bed.
"Yeah, fuck off and sort yourself out. Your brothers are going to have a shit fit when they see you."
"They can fuck off," I mutter, revving the engine and pulling my door closed.
Levi gives me a wave as I pull out of the lot and I make quick work of getting the hell out of the Heights. The turn toward our old trailer park taunts me as I pass. It would be so easy to head down there and go and knock on that cunt's door.
I almost do it. But at the last minute, I remember Dad's words and tell myself once again that I need to trust him. I have no reason to think he's going to screw me over with this, no matter how much waiting fucking blows. He's proven again and again since he took us in that he wants to do right by us. I have to cling to that and have faith. What else have I got right now?
Thankfully, I manage to get to the bathroom to shower and then to my bedroom without being intercepted. I'm amazed I achieve it after the number of messages I've received since I skipped out on school earlier, but I figure they're both too deep in their girls to care about what I'm doing right now.
The gasp that falls from Aimee's lips the next afternoon when she sees me reminds me of how my face looked when I stared at myself in the mirror this morning.
Both Ace and Cole tried to rip me a new one for fighting—again—but with the situation as it is, neither really had a leg to stand on. They've both done enough fucked-up things over the years; me fighting is a drop in the ocean.
Aimee, however, looks really concerned.
"Conner, this is like the sixth time you've turned up at school like this," she says softly, her eyes bouncing from one cut to the other.
"It's nothing," I snap, really not needing my tutor girl giving me grief over my shitty decisions.
"I'm just worried about you. This isn't you, it—"
I turn to look at her sitting beside me at the library table. It's where we meet three times a week so I can help her with her math, but unlike every other time we've done this, today I really don't want to be here.
"This isn't me?" I bark. She sits back a little, her eyes widening at my tone. "You don't fucking know me, Aimee, so don't even try. You've lived here in the Bay for your entire happy, privileged little life. Not a
ll of us are that fucking lucky."
I stare at her as her eyes fill with tears, and I immediately feel like an asshole.
"I-I'm sorry." She pushes her chair out quickly, ready to flee, but I'm faster. I wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her back down.
"No, I'm sorry. That was out of line. I'm sorry." My hand falls to hers and she squeezes, although she soon stops when I wince in pain.
"I'm sorry." She lifts my hand so she can inspect my knuckles. "I'm just worried about you, Conner. You're better than this."
"Trust me, I'm not."
"You are," she breathes, her voice too soft, too sweet, but I already feel like a cunt for barking at her so I can hardly tell her to shut up.
"Shall we?" I gesture toward her textbook, hoping it will make her stop looking at me the way she is.
"Conner." She laces her fingers with mine as her other hand lands on my thigh. "I really like you, I think you know that. Let me help, please." Her hand begins to move, and for a second it feels so good that I let her. But right before she touches where she shouldn't, I reach out and stop her.
"We've got work to do."
I pull my hand from hers and twist away, dragging the book between us and picking up a pen.
She's a sweet girl. Using her right now would be so easy, but I can't. My life is already a big enough mess…
I don't need to make it any worse.
Chapter Nine
