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Kennedy
I’m barely functioning.
Between Warren’s constant attention, his clingy, obsessive mood swings, and Jayden and Levi’s big brother routine around school, I’m a wreck.
But I stuff it all down, paste on a smile every morning, and kiss Warren on the cheek like the dutiful, doting girlfriend I’m supposed to be.
Thankfully, my period came and I’ve been able to avoid his advances. But it doesn’t stop him from using my hands and mouth at his every whim.
I feel so dirty, so used and worthless. I keep telling myself I’m doing it to protect Conner, to keep his family safe, but the lines between reality and fantasy are starting to blur. I’m starting to lose myself again...
And I hate it.
It’s Friday, and the permanent knot in my stomach is bigger than ever. The weekend should be something to look forward to, but instead it fills me with dread. I’ll have no school to escape to. No Levi and Jayden or Shelbie in my corner.
I’ll be all alone with Warren and Mitch—not that he’s any use. He’s hardly been sober since I got back, preferring to chase away his demons at the bottom of a bottle.
“You’re quiet,” Warren says, gripping my knee a little too tightly.
“Just thinking,” I murmur, watching the boarded buildings and graffitied walls roll by. The Heights in all its rundown, impoverished glory is worlds away from the Bay, despite only being a twenty-minute ride along the coast. There’s no swanky beach houses and gated communities here. There’s only crime and drugs and things that go bump in the night.
“Shark week about done?”
Warren’s crass words make me flinch, but his fingers sliding up my thigh make my stomach churn.
Please God, no. Not here. Not before school.
“Almost,” I sing, forcing a smile.
“Fuck yes. I’ve got plans for you this weekend, baby. Big plans.” He grabs his junk and shoots me a wolfish smile that makes me want to gouge my eyes out and puke at the same time.
Thankfully, Heights High comes into view and with it, the streams of kids filing through the gate.
“I never liked this place,” Warren muses. “At least you’ve only got a few weeks left.” He finds a parking spot and cuts the engine. “And then you’ll be free and we can start planning our future.” He says it as if we actually have options.
Warren graduated last summer, and, like most kids who manage to get their diploma from Heights High, he’s still here, earning money the only way he knows how—through back alley deals and the odd hacking job. Warren is a whizz on computers. Like, insanely good. If he didn’t live in the Heights and have Mitch for a dad, he could probably have gone to MIT or something. But kids from the Heights don’t soar high. If they’re lucky, they might get a full ride to a decent college out of state, but even that’s unlikely.
“Yeah.” I struggle to keep the defeat out of my voice.
“Hey, Kennedy, look at me.” He tugs my hand sharply and I lift my eyes to his. I’m like a marionette, a slave to his strings. “I’ll take care of you, baby. You know that right?”
Pressing my lips together, I nod.
“Good girl.” His thumb finds its way to the pillow of my lip. He pushes slowly, forcing the digit inside my mouth. If kids walk too close to his car, they’ll see us like this.
They’ll see him degrading me.
“Suck,” he orders.
My eyes flutter shut as I close my mouth around his thumb and obey.
“God, I wish I could fuck your pretty little mouth again.”
Tears burn the backs of my eyes, but I don’t allow them to fall. The longer I’m with Warren, the easier it is to shut down my emotions. Soon there will be nothing left, and I’ll be dead inside.
Conner had slowly begun to bring me back to life, but I realize now how foolish that had been. It’s only going to make everything hurt that much more this time around.
Finally, he pulls his thumb out and I inhale a shaky breath.
