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“Actually,” guilt flashes in her eyes, “I did.”
Chapter Eighteen
Conner
As I drive toward the Heights, I'm more nervous than I've ever been in my life. It's ridiculous, I'm only going to see my girl, but after all the bullshit, the thought of having her alone without the threat of being caught or sneaking around in the shadows has me feeling the pressure.
I want our time together to be perfect. I want to treat her how she should be treated, but I have no idea where her head's at with all this shit, and I fear that no matter what I do, I'll fuck it up. I've already spent too much time dealing with my own issues and fucking things up for us. I want all of that behind us. I want it just to be us and our future.
My palms are sweating against the wheel as I pull up into a dark lane a short walk from Joker’s. We all thought it was probably for the best that I don't just roll up to the front of the place and announce my arrival for everyone to see.
I throw a couple of mints into my mouth and run my hand through my hair before I push the door open and step out. We're in the middle of a storm, so I'm going to be drenched by the time I get there, but I really don't give a shit. I'll walk to the ends of the earth in this downpour if my girl is at the other end.
Both Levi and Jay are sitting out the front in Levi's car when I slip around the back of the building as we agreed. They're both heading inside in a bit to be our lookout in case Warren turns up early. They nod at me as I slip into the shadows to the backdoor Shelbie should have left open for me.
My hand trembles as I reach out to pull it open, and I can't help laughing at myself. This is ridiculous, it's just Kenny, I tell myself, but it's pointless. The nerves only get stronger as I climb the stairs.
I rub my hands down my pants and blow out a breath before lifting my hand and knocking three times.
Footsteps get closer as my heart rate increases to the point I wonder if I'm about to pass out.
"Hey," Shelbie says, pulling the door open with a wide smile on her face. "Everything is ready for you." She winks at me as she slips from the apartment. "I'll knock if there's an issue."
"Thank you, Shelbie. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."
She chuckles. "No problem. Go get your girl."
My heart tumbles at her words, and I race through the door to do exactly as she suggested.
"Conner," Kenny all but screams as I slam the door closed behind me. I barely get a chance to register that she's moving before she launches herself at me. Her arms lock around my shoulders and her legs wrap around my waist as she holds on for dear life.
"Hey, babe."
"I thought she was joking, I didn't think..." she trails off as her voice cracks with emotion.
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here." With my fingers in her hair, I manage to guide her face away from the crook of my neck. Tears track down her cheeks and her bottom lip trembles as she tries to contain herself.
"I'm sorry, I just... I didn't really think..."
"Shhh," I soothe. "I don't know how long we've got," I say honestly, hating that I need to bring our reality into this.
"I'll take whatever I can get right now." Her lips slam down on mine and her tongue slips inside my mouth. I don't react for a second, shock, desperation, everything just overwhelming me for a beat, but it's long enough for her to realize and to pull back.
"Conner?" she asks, her brows drawing together in concern. She tries to unwrap herself from my body but my hold tightens. There's no way I'm letting her go until I have to. "Fuck, you don't want me."
"What? No, of course I do."
"But you didn't—" Regrets from our last encounter crash into me. The things I said that night, the way I insinuated that I might not want
her. I slam my lips on hers, cutting off what she was about to say as I walk us across the living room until I get to the open door that I hope like hell leads to Shelbie's bedroom. I need to show her that night was a mistake, that I want her. That I need her.
"Never think I don't want you," I murmur in her ear as I climb onto the bed and lay her out before me. "All I can think about is this all being over and having you back in my bed with me. About kissing you, touching you, making you come over and over." I unzip her hoodie and trail my lips over her collarbones and to the swell of her breasts.
"Conner," she moans beneath me, arching her back, offering me more.
Reaching behind my head, I pull my school shirt off in one smooth move and throw it to the floor, desperate to feel her skin on skin with nothing between us. Sitting her up, I tug her hoodie down her arms before pulling her tank over her head. Slipping my hand around her back, I flick her bra open and peel it away from her body.
"Fuck," I breathe. "You're so fucking beautiful."
