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Lilac’s lips pinched. “And I suppose you think there’s something wrong with me for doingthat?”
“No, that’s not what Imeant—”
“No, I get it. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have…” She really started crying now, though she did her best to ignore the tears tumbling down her cheeks. “Just pretend this never happened. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be hereanyway.”
Jumping off the bed, Nolan stumbled toward her, carrying the sheet in front of him. “Lilac, please. I don’t want things to endlike—”
But she was gone, the door shut closed behindher.
Unless he wanted to waddle through the hotel hallways with the sheet over his member, he had to let hergo.
Nolan stood there behind the closed door a while longer, trying and trying to convince himself it was all for thebest.
* * *
After a showerand putting on his wrinkly, damp swim trunks along with his shirt, Nolan stared at his face for a long moment in the mirror before taking a deep breath and leaving the room behind. Lilac’s bikini was missing—she’d gotten up to go to the bathroom after they’d finished his third or fourth climax the night before, he couldn’t remember which—and she must have prepared to leave straightaway come morning. Just as she’d prepared to spend the night with him. All these plans and she hadn’t even let him in on any of them until he’d felt tugged and pulled and led by the nose in whichever direction she’d desired him to go. And like a dog—or a silly, clueless sandgrouse—he’d let her lead theway.
She was the first girl he’d taken to a bedroom—or, more accurately, who’d taken him to a bedroom—who’d led him around like that. He thought he’d liked leading the way, but last night had been… Well, so much for that assumption. Still, he’d kind of had his way in the heat of the moment and he thought—if he wasn’t just being a touch too full of himself—that she’d likedit.
The keycard given to the front desk, though they told him he could have left it in the room, and the whole night behind him, he sighed as he made his way to his car, pausing to confirm that sure enough, Lilac’s shiny new vehicle was long gone, replaced by a minivan carrying a family that was working to unload the day’s accessories from the trunk. Two little girls and a boy ran around the van, tripping up their parents, ignoring their cries to calmdown.
He looked longingly at the beach, so beautiful in the rays of the early morning sun, but he knew he’d find no comfort there—not nowanyway.
After getting inside his car, he fished out his phone. He’d missed half a dozen calls and there was a text message. He’dknownhis father wouldn’t be happy, but was it too much to ask him to give him a break justonce?
Then he saw the first text message that awaited him:Where are you?it asked.Willow’s in theER.
It was dated yesterday evening. Nolan felt as if his stomach had dropped out to the carfloor.
Chapter Fifteen
Lilac didn’t wantto talk to Gavin. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. The wind on her face did little to dry the tears that ran down her cheeks as she drove back to Aunt Frankie’s, more than once tempted by a random turnoff leading to who-knew-where—anywhere. Anywhere but here. Anywhere but thismistake.
One call to her mom and daddy and she knew they’d tell her to just go home. If she explained why, her daddy might even show up in Florida himself and knock some sense intoEarl.
Only it wasn’t just Earl who tugged at her heart now—it was Nolan, too. For completely opposite reasons. Last night had been amazing and… That was more than a littlescary.
Lilac knew this routine. Fuck the frat boy, have some fun, get over it, let a few months go by, hear the roar of her natural urges building up from below until they dominated her mind, fuck a new fratboy.
Cute, eager, not that into romance and commitment—they made perfect bedmates.
But Nolan wasn’t a frat boy. He looked like one. With his goofy demeanor and A-game flirtations, he’d probably pass as one. But he was also kinder, more responsible. He had a baby face but a far more matureheart.
And she’d stupidly convinced herself that this was more of the same. That she’d still be able to see him around the park—go on dates on occasion—and there wouldn’t be this awkward, lingering tension betweenthem.
But the fact was it scared her, this tug in her heart. He was supposed to be a distraction. He wasn’t supposed to make her think about what had happened, what her life had cometo.
She’d embarrassed herself in front of Nolan again and again. Instead of proving the boost she needed to stuff that workplace nightmare down deep where she wanted it buried, he’d just opened her up to so muchmore.
Wiping her face with her palm, Lilac did take a random highway exit, pulling into a gas station and fueling up her hybrid. The nozzle in place and pumping, she grabbed her phone out of her bag and leaned against the driver’s side door. It seemed as if everyone and their mothers had sent her messages or commented on the pictures of the beach she’d posted when she’d been in a better mood the evening before. Frankie’s emoji-filled text cheering her on—she’d guessed it was Nolan and she knew what spending the night meant—only made her stomach sour now. There was even something from Pembroke of all people, an FB message just asking how she’d been and how she liked Florida.Where to even begin?She hadn’t even told Brielle what had happened—she might have, had Brielle not been so dismissive last weekend—and she certainly couldn’t tellPembroke.
Gavin was the only one who knew. She’d begged him to stop harping on it all week, but he’d been there for her, trying to make her laugh, even if he was always circling back to the issue athand.
She started up a text, but her heart almost caught in her throat. Looking around—no other car was at a pump nearby—she hit “call” for his numberinstead.
Gavin answered on the third ring. “Li?”
Lilac traced a finger over the top of her side view mirror. “Is this a goodtime?”
