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There was laughter and muffled conversation in the background. “Yeah,” he said. “Just give me a minute.” She heard footsteps and then a door open and close, more echoing footsteps, and then a static-like sound that could only be the winds of the windy city. “Sorry, the guys are having some friendsover.”
“I’ll call back later.” Lilac’s voice trembled. The gas was finished pumping and she felt dumb for calling him from there, but she’d wanted to hear hisvoice.
“It’s fine,” said Gavin. “I’m on the roof. And before you ask, it’s allowed. Sadly, there’s no pool or anything up here, but smokers have to go somewhere in an apartment building, I guess, right? I tend to avoid it because smoke is impossible to get out of your clothes. It’s too bad, though. The view is incredible from uphere.”
Lilac closed her eyes for a moment and pictured herself atop some Chicago building, the wind on her face and Gavin beside her. But it was so hot and sticky here. The only time she felt anything resembling a breeze was when she wasdriving.
“Gavin, I want to comehome.”
Gavin didn’t say anything at first and Lilac wondered if maybe he hadn’t heard her over the sounds of the whipping air all around him. “If that’s what you need,” he said. “Just let me know what you need from me. I’ll meet you at the airport or drive down there to help you packor—”
Snorting, Lilac wiped away more tears from her face. “I don’t need you to come down here,” she said. “Besides, if you drove, you wouldn’t be able to get back in time for work on Monday. And since when do you have acar?”
“They’re called rentals and details, details. It’s not like this is a real job.” Hesighed.
“I’d pay for you to fly here if I needed it,” she said. “But Idon’t.”
“Okay,” said Gavin. A moment of silence hung between them. “Then tell me what you need, Li. I’m here for you. And your other friends can be,too—”
“What other friends?” scoffed Lilac. She reached inside her tote bag to grab atissue.
“Brielle and Pembroke for starters,” saidGavin.
“They’re more your friends thanmine.”
“You introduced me toBrielle!”
“And yet somehow, she’s more your friend than mine.” She took a deep breath and cradled her phone between her cheek and her shoulder to remove the fuel pump from her car. “Never mind—I know why. You’re amazing. You’re—you’re—”
“What is it?” Gavin asked, his voice quieter. “What happenedtoday?”
Hanging the pump back in place, Lilac found her voice wavering. “It’s not… It’s not what you’re thinking. I—I actually had a great night lastnight.”
“Well, that’s great to hear. What happened? Please tell me it had something to do with that knight-in-shining-sandgrouse-suit.”
Lilac’s throat went dry. “It—Itdid.”
“That’s amazing, Li! I… Look, I wish you were near me as much as anything, but I also know this was yourdream. You gave up something you worked very hard for because you love Florida. You love sun and beaches. You love Tildy World. You can fight for what you love—for what makes you happy. For whatyoudeserve and what that assholeactuallydeserves…”
“I don’t love it here anymore, Gavvy. I miss you. I misshome.”
Silence. “Then come home,Li.”
A car honked and Lilac jumped. Looking around her, she realized the station had grown more crowded and there was a line forming for free pumps. “I’ve got togo.”
“Lilac, I wish you’d let me help more. I wish you’d let more peopleknow.”
“Tell whoever you want,” said Lilac, opening her car door and flipping off the driver who kept honking at her. She pushed the ignition button and ran a finger tipped with hot pink nail polish under her eye to pick off an errant eyelash. “I don’t care anymore.” She put the phone down in her cup holder and put the car in drive. “I’ll call later,” she said,disconnecting.
After that, she didn’t really remember the trip home. If it weren’t for her GPS talking to her along the way, she wasn’t sure she would have even managed to get back to Aunt Frankie’sbungalow.
* * *
Lilac wasn’t goingon a bender again. She’d learned her lesson there—though part of her wished she more clearly remembered the start of her little fling with Nolan. Gavin had spoken highly of him and apparently, no matter how crazy she’d gotten, it hadn’t been enough to scare him away. Not until she’d stuck her foot in her mouth and completely ruined things the daybefore.
Instead, she settled for drinking iced tea and lounging on Aunt Frankie’s covered patio on Sunday, collecting her thoughts and weighing what to do. She’d brought her worn stuffed Tildy Tapir with her, cradling it between her arms against her abdomen. She still wore her pajamas from the nightbefore.
She could take those years off to go traveling. She wouldn’t even have to explain to her familywhy—they’d all just assume it was simplyLilac beingLilac.
