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She sighed turned and motioned for Jack to follow her upstairs. It was the longest walk of his entire life.
Jack had not been prepared for what he was walking into. Seeing Amelie lying there like that with her arms in restraints did something to him that he felt he might never recover from. She didn’t deserve this. He felt his rage building but tried his best to suppress it. He needed answers. He needed to see her. He needed to fix this.
He pulled a chair as close to the bed as he could, picked up her hand, and sat stroking it. He noticed the bags hanging from the IV line that ran to her arm. He inhaled the sterileness of the room, and all at once, so many memories came flooding back. Jack swallowed the lump in his throat and demanded answers. “What’s wrong with her? Why is she like this? The abortion didn’t cause this. I’ve done research.” He’d figured Amelie would be groggy, but not as she was now, completely out of it. Comatose.
Amelie’s mother poured a cup of water and pushed it in his direction. “For people with bi-polar disorder, traumatic events… events such as having an abortion can cause real set backs. That… and we have no idea how long she’d been off her medication.” He could hear the bitterness in her voice as she spoke.
“So you have her drugged up? Don’t you think that after everything she’s been through that this might be a little much?”
She smiled a guarded smile. “Sweetie. It’s important that we take precautions to ensure that she doesn’t hurt herself again.”
“So you think drugging her up and locking her away is going help her? How is that?”
Her mother considered his question for a moment. She seemed flustered but calmed a little when she answered. “I know this must be very confusing for you. But you have to agree that this is better than how you found her in your apartment the other night. Amelie needs vigilance. She needs constant care right now. If you hadn’t shown up when you did, Mr. Harrison, my daughter would be dead right now. So yes, I do think this is helping her. If it keeps her alive, it is helping. Anyway, I’ll leave you two… I’ll be in the cafeteria. Tell the nurses to have me paged if they need me.”
Jack sat quietly for a few minutes as he thought his plan through. When he had it, he stood and climbed into the hospital bed next to her. He traced her face and kissed her lips. “I will not let them lock you up,” he whispered.
Several hours later, sometime after the sun had set, Amelie began to stir. She opened her eyes and smiled weakly when she saw he was there.
“Hey,” he smiled.
“Hey,” she attempted, and then pointed at the pitcher of water on the bedside table. She raised her arms and sighed at the sight of the restraints. “They think I’m going somewhere,” she managed. Jack placed the straw to her lips and watched her suck down the water. He refilled the cup two more times before she motioned that she’d had enough.
“This is ridiculous, Amelie,” he said attempting to loosen one of her restraints.
She shook her head and pulled it away. “Better watch out. You’re going to get us both into trouble.”
“Yeah. Well, I think I’ve done enough of that already.” He rubbed her forehead with the back of his hand. “God, I never should have left you alone.”
“This isn’t your fault, Jack.” She looked around the room. “I did this.”
“What I don’t understand, though… is why.”
“It’s hard to explain… the pain, I guess. Sometimes… it’s too much, and I just wanted it to go away.”
“So you weren’t trying to kill yourself, then. That’s what I keep trying to tell them! But they won’t listen.”
She smiled a little. “I don’t know, Jack. I wouldn’t exactly say that. The truth is… I just didn’t care one way or the other. I’m just really sorry I put you in the middle of it all. I’m sorry you had to find me like that.”
“Amelie. Listen to me. You are not crazy. No matter what they say. You know that, right? You’re just going through a hard time, that’s all.”
She blinked back tears and eyed the restraints around her wrists. “Yeah. You could say that.”
They laid there in silence for a long time before Amelie spoke again. “Jack.”
“Yeah?” He recognized that tone.
“I don’t want you to you see me like this anymore. I’m no good for you. I’m going to tell them that I’ll go. I’m going to go to this place they’re talking about sending me, and I need you to let me go. I need you to promise me… that you’ll let me go without a fight.”
Jack shifted in the bed. “You mean you want to go, then?” He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t understand. You’re not crazy. You’re just sad. There’s a difference. But around here… I don’t know… it’s like the twilight zone. No one listens.”
She sighed. “I don’t know what I want anymore, Jack. I just want to stop hurting everybody I love. I can’t take the pity I see in your eyes. Or the disappointment in my mother's. Maybe I am sick. Maybe I’m not. All I know is that whatever this is… it’s bigger than me. And I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
He played with her fingers, unable to meet her eyes. “But… I don’t know how to let you go, Amelie.”
“I know you don’t. You never did.”
Jack looked up then. “What is that supposed to mean?”
