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Chapter Forty
Grace
Being home is supposed to feel like a relief.Instead, it feels like tap-dancing on a landmine.I suspect the woman who called was referring to Dr.Branson and the statement my attorney gave to the police.That, or there was more.Things I didn’t know.Things only one person could tell me—Charles.
A few days after the kids and I arrived home, he was transferred to a nursing facility.He needs to continue to heal and to regain his strength, and, most importantly, to learn to walk again.Nearly three weeks tied to a bed had done a number on him, and that wasn’t even taking into account what his captors had inflicted.
I first speak to him on the phone.I bombard him with questions, which he doesn’t seem thrilled by.“We’ll discuss everything in due time, okay?”he hisses.
I tell him about the call.
“It’s probably a crank call,” he says.“Don’t worry about it.When can you come?”
“As soon as I get Toby off to school.Is that okay?”
“Can’t Alice do it?”
“The counselor says it’s best to stick to a routine.”
“Right.”
The next morning, I reunite with Charles in the rec room of the nursing facility.He is leaning against the bookcase, arms crossed, smoking a cigarette.When he sees me, he tosses the cigarette down and grinds it out with his heel.He grabs his crutches and hobbles over to me slowly, purposefully.I suddenly feel afraid.It’s as if he is walking to me down a tunnel that has only one end: somewhere foreign and unknown.
Charles comes up to me, and he cups my chin with his hand.He tilts my head so he can look into my face.He is going to kiss me.I want him to kiss me.I can’t move.I wasn’t sure I’d ever see him again.
“Grace,” he says, kissing me, softly at first, then more deeply.
Finally, he steps back, makes a show of straightening his shirt, and says, “You look great, doll.”
“I’m so glad to see you,” I tell him, laughing.It feels like a boulder has been lifted from my chest, like the whole world is taking a collective breath, like there’s a giant sigh of relief.
“No, really, you look great.I wasn’t sure what to expect.”
“I can relate,” I say with a smile.“You don’t look so bad yourself.”
This time he laughs.“Liar.”
“Well, I have good intentions.”
“You always do.”He shifts his weight and winces as he moves.“What’s the saying?Appear weak when you are strong.Appear strong when you are weak.The Art of Warprinciples.”
“Funny you mention that.”
He cocks his head and narrows his gaze.“Why?”
I think of Elizabeth.I don’t pretend to understand the mysteries of the universe, but at that moment, I am no longer afraid.I am in love.Seeing Charles feels like the first time.It is unreal.I run my fingers through his hair.It is thick, black, glossy.
“What?”he says, staring at me with curiosity.
“Nothing.I’m just so glad you’re okay.”
He motions toward the cast on his ankle.“Getting there.”
“Is there anywhere we can go that’s a little more private?”
I wanted to be alone.I wanted to caress his neck.I wanted to kiss his hands.They were as strong and steady as they’d ever been.I wanted to kiss the palm of his hand and then place it on my cheek.I wanted to kiss his face.I wanted to take his hand in mine and walk out of there.
“My room.”
