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“Aw, you don’t have to do that. We should go to Tahiti. I went with my dad, and it was a trip of a lifetime.”
“Tahiti it is,” Will said. “Like a honeymoon?”
“No, no honeymoon. Just a chance for us to get away together and enjoy the most beautiful place on earth.”
They’d gotten to the cottage, and he stood behind her while she unlocked the door. Once inside the dark hallway, he turned her around to kiss. Then he reached down between her legs, making her gasp. “This is the most beautiful place on earth,” he whispered.
By three, the stragglers had eaten the last crumbs and taken the last bottles of beer, the caterers had cleaned up and left, even the grandmothers and their boyfriends had called it a night and were behind closed doors.
Jake was in bed, facedown on a pillow, and Pam was combing her hair out, creaming her face. She’d given up all pretense that day. A woman nearing her age with a young, sick boyfriend; there was no point in pretending she looked or felt younger than she was. Lying to herself wasn’t going to make Jake live longer.
She glanced around the bathroom; it was pristine as always, a personal space that she loathed to share. Why was that? When had her needs become so complicated? What was so special about her?
A private dream revolved around living in a small travel trailer with a man who smoked a pipe. It must have had a bathroom, but like most fantasies, that sort of thing was unnecessary. She had no idea where the image came from. The location might be in Ireland, so peaceful. Safe. The man with her read books and drank tea, and they sat by a small wood fire in a real firepit in the ground each night, talking about things that mattered. It was a stupid fantasy that she thought of when she lay in bed at night, unable to sleep.
Out in the bedroom, she moved around, placing her clothing in the hamper but leaving Jake’s out, knowing instinctively that their things weren’t going to mingle in the washer ever again. She put her sandals out in the hallway, pointing to the dog beds with a stern look on her face, but they weren’t budging off the bed.
“There’s no room for me,” she said. “The dogs prefer you.”
He laughed, gently pushing one of them toward the foot of the bed. “Hurry and get in before she moves back up.”
“I feel sick I’m so tired,” she complained, crawling under the sheets.
“Quick, shut the light off and close your eyes. You’ll fall right to sleep.”
“Shouldn’t we chat a bit? We hardly were able to say a word to each other all night.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I’m sorry I don’t let you use my bathroom. It’s mean and selfish of me to expect you to traipse across to another bathroom. Especially with people in the house.”
“It’s fine, Pam. It was my idea. I like having my own space.”
“If you need to go tonight, use mine.”
He got up on his elbows and pulled himself closer to her. Smoothing her hair back, he kissed her face, her eyelids and nose.
“I love you, Pam.”
“No, you don’t,” she replied.
“It feels like the right thing to say.”
“Truthfully, I’m so beyond that, I don’t even know what to say to you. I feel like we have one thing we can do that is honest and true.”
“And what is that?”
She rolled on her back, nudging him on top of her, pulling up her shirt to expose her breasts. Wasting no time, he participated immediately, and she responded.
“I thought you were so tired you were sick,” he whispered, looking into her eyes.
“I’m suddenly awake,” she said. “Please don’t stop.”
At midnight, Dan left Ryan and Lisa’s house with Alison and Adam, helping them get their children home.
“See you around,” he called out, heading to his house.
Slowing down as he got closer, he saw Lily’s car in his driveway.
