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“Does he? I’m scared to death.”
Pam sat at his side, smoothing his hand with hers, her mind a blank, forcing her focus on Jake. The party loomed ahead like a giant albatross. But it was unimportant in the scheme of things. They were in the here and now. She didn’t love him, but she was fond of him and thought she’d spend the rest of her life with his companionship. After all the loss she’d experienced, losing Jake was the last thing she had given thought to. She took it for granted that they’d be together until she died because she was the older one.
In a state of surrealism, the squad arrived, pulling into her driveway without sirens, thank god, and Dan answered the door. The men flooded her foyer, looking around appreciatively at the space, the vaulted ceiling, the ocean view through glass doors.
Pam gave them Jake’s short history, all that she knew, and would tell them when they were out in the truck that Jake had AIDS. She wasn’t announcing his private information to the group.
While they worked, starting an IV, putting monitor leads and oxygen tubing on him, Jake remained unresponsive. As they lifted him onto the stretcher, he moaned, and the unexpected frailty coming from Jake, the ex-cop, shook Pam to the core. The EMTs allowed her to go along to the hospital. She sat in back, holding his hand, watching the technician, a large, burly middle-aged guy, care for Jake with such gentleness that she was moved to tears.
After she’d revealed that Jake was positive for AIDS, the technician told her they treat everyone like they have a communicable disease anyway. But she felt better having told him.
Before they’d even got on the road, they did an EKG and other tests they could do remotely.
“What will they do to him when we get to the hospital?”
“The doctor will probably order scans,” he said. “He’s stable now. You did a good job getting him help right away.”
“He’d just arrived for lunch and fell over, and when we couldn’t get him to respond, someone called.”
At the emergency room, uniformed staff took over from the EMT. They included Pam in the questioning. She remembered that lately, he’d admitted being more tired than usual, but that was the only complaint he’d shared with her. After they wheeled him into an exam room, she was asked to wait in the waiting room, where she notified Lisa and the others that they’d arrived.
Sitting alone in the waiting room for an hour reminded Pam of other hospital visits in the past: her own where the discovery of AIDS was made, and later, her sister Marie’s tragic illness and death. Jack and Randy dying and how she was notified after the fact, not having even the chance for a goodbye.
Death was the end result for everyone, she knew that, but she wasn’t ready for Jake to leave her. The short time they’d been seeing each other had been full of laughter and joy. They’d never had a cross word. Now this.
“Mrs. Braddock?”
She looked up to see a familiar face, a doctor Jack knew from the golf course. The name escaped her. Quickly standing, he offered his hand.
“Blake Gage,” he said, taking hers. “You came in with Jake Stevens?”
“I did.”
“Come with me,” he said. “My office is down the hall, and it’s more comfortable than this. We can talk.”
She followed him out of the waiting room.
“How have you been?” he asked, glancing at her as they walked along. “I know this is a hard one.”
“He’s my good friend,” she said. “I’m so worried. Until today, I was fine. Our party is this weekend.Wasthis weekend. I’m going to have to cancel it if you have bad news.”
Standing aside so she could pass through, he pointed at a chair and closed the door before he sat down next to her, not at his desk but in a chair on the other side of it, conveying concern, and it made her blood pressure skyrocket.
“The radiologist gave me a preliminary report of a lung tumor. Most likely mesothelioma. Did you say he was in the Navy? The pulmonologist will review all the test results. They’re getting Jake settled in an ICU bed right now even though he’s stable, but because he’s unconscious, he needs acute care.”
The words were jumbled in her mind. “I know nothing about that.”
“It’s a form of cancer. They’ll do radiation for it. And there are new chemotherapy modalities.”
The wordcancerechoed throughout the room. Holding onto the arms of the chair with white knuckles, Pam thought she might either faint or run from the room screaming. At this time of life, she wasn’t equipped to deal with cancer news or sick boyfriends or intensive care.
“I can see you’re upset,” he said gently. “If you can, just take it one day at a time right now until we know more. I wish I could do something for you.”
“Blake, thank you. I appreciate you taking the extra time.”
“It’s the least I could do for Jack,” he said. “I can’t believe he’s been gone as long as it’s been. Time is just flying.”
At least having known Jack was paying off for a change.
