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They decided not to tell anyone about the baby for a while. It was too early and Jake wanted time to let his feelings develop without anyone else’s opinions about what being a father would mean. He was already determined to keep going to school, wondering why setting goals had never meant much to him until he met Geri. He thought about the reasons behind becoming a firefighter, and it was a decision that had been made for him by his father and four older brothers. There was no other job for a Saint to have.
The normal fears and doubts expectant parents have were multiplied once they shared their concerns over dinner.
“What about a babysitter?”
“What does anyone do about that?” she replied gently, understanding that he was already in future planning mode.
“I don’t even like to think about it,” he said, shuddering. “Leaving my kid with a stranger is not appealing. Maybe we can do different shifts, as much as I hate the thought.”
“People do that, Jake. It’s a great idea. We’d still have one day off a week together. But try not to worry too much, okay? We have almost nine months to plan for childcare.”
“What should I think about, then? It’s making me crazy.”
“Let’s talk about the cruise. I’m so excited about it. No work, all our meals prepared for us, just relaxing around a heated pool with the coast still in our line of vision. I can’t wait.”
They got their phones out and looked at the cruise line’s website to see if any of the entertainment appealed to them, noticing there were a couple of bands that looked promising.
“Thank you, Geri. I’m excited again. I’ll have to figure out a way to deal with our news so I don’t go nuts.”
“Just take it a day at a time right now,” she said.
Afterward, they lingered at Geri’s front door, holding each other and not speaking for a while before going to their separate apartments. Locking the door after she watched him get into his truck, Geri was relieved she’d have the night alone. Getting to know Jake was eye opening. He was more than a little obsessive, and stress really brought that out in him. She went back and forth about whether she should have told him about the baby so soon. It wasn’t the way most couples did things, she was pretty sure of it. They found out together. The girl didn’t wait around for weeks to tell the guy like she did.
Blaming the sex, she’d felt so close to him afterward that she didn’t want another second to pass before sharing such intimate news. They’d created life together. It meant something to her, and as the minutes passed, the happiness grew. She was in love with Jake. If they’d just taken it slow, they could have had a promising life together, and they still could, even with a baby on the way.
Shuddering, she imagined for a second dealing with the murmuring at work. Covering her face with her hands, memories of being the object of bullying in elementary school and the subject of the mean girls when she was in high school flooded her brain. Would she be able to navigate the gossip of mostly Jake’s relatives at Station #34? Why did she even care?
Puttering around her house late at night brought her peace. Maybe cleaning the apartment would help clear her mind. She dragged the kitchen chair out of the bathroom after the aborted pedicure and saw her open schoolbooks on the kitchen table. This was an example of exactly what she didn’t want to happen. Nothing should come before schoolwork.
Quickly abandoning the house-cleaning expedition, she sat back down at the table. Chewing on a pen helped her concentration. Outlining a paper she had to write helped her organize information. She underlined and made notes in the margins of the printed pages, and while she did, she imagined a person wearing a hard hat, carrying a clipboard, observing the building of houses to make them more resistant to fire. The person in her vision slowly morphed into a young woman with short blond hair. Could this be what she really wanted to do?
She studied until the sky turned pink with the rising sun. Stretching her arms above her head, she moved side to side, yawning. It felt good to be caught up with schoolwork so early in the semester. Once again committing to her goals, she knew that being flexible right now might not be in her best interest.
She pushed away from the table, walking around the apartment shutting off lights. She’d pay for it if she didn’t get at least a few hours of sleep. But the bed was a tousled mess from the coupling with Jake the day before.
“Ugh.”
She stripped off the sheets and stuffed them in the hamper. Clean sheets and a warm blanket would facilitate that sleep she longed for. After scrubbing her face, she used the face cream that Jake had massaged into her legs, giggling at the memory. It was a good segue from the annoyance she felt about the messy bed.
The cool, fresh pillowcases felt wonderful on her face. With eyes closed, she fantasized about being a building inspector. It wasn’t anything she’d ever even considered she’d be interested in. She’d be more observant when the fire inspector came around next time.
At ten her phone rang. Disoriented, she opened her eyes. Where was she? Home or Charlie’s office? Was this a nap, or was it morning? Feeling around on the nightstand for the phone, she finally found it, squinting at the face to see the time and that it was Jake calling.
“Are you sleeping?”
“Not anymore, but that’s okay. I should get up.”
“What time did you go to sleep?”
“Not until six thirty. I was in the middle of reading about building codes, and it was so compelling I couldn’t put it down,” she said, snickering into the pillow.
“That’s not enough sleep, Geri. You’ve got a baby to take care of now, not just yourself.”
“Thank you for that reminder, Jake.”
Jake being Jake, he didn’t get the sarcasm, and Geri was glad. But she wasn’t going to let him get into the habit of telling her what she should be doing. She’d deal with it later.
“What’s going on today?”
