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HUNTER
Months have gone by since Mom’s funeral. I’m once again living full time with the bros and Rachel, against Dad’s advice. I know he’s only worried about me, but I’m a grown man and I can take care of myself. I don’t need him looking out for me all the time. My friends can do that easily and without making me feel like a two-year-old. He does insist on talking to me at least once a week to check in and see if I am attending my therapy appointments. Apparently, he has his own therapist now to help with Mom’s death. I grimace thinking about it. It’s still hard knowing she’s gone, yet the pain isn’t as bad as it once was.
I’m walking down the sidewalk towards Dr. Forrester’s office, enjoying the May weather and the greenery budding on the trees. The birds are chirping, kids are playing on the lawns, and several dogs are barking at one another. Next week is final’s week and then the semester ends. It’s strange how time flies so fast. I feel like it was only yesterday I was leaving Lucas’s cottage after my fight with Rachel.
Things, of course, aren’t perfect. Every day is different. Yesterday, I spent most of the morning crying after finding Mom’s recipe for green bean casserole in my backpack. I have no clue what it was doing there. She must have packed it amongst my things awhile back. I found it at the bottom of one of my side pockets when I was cleaning it out. Rachel had to calm me down.
But that was yesterday.
I don’t know why, but today I feel renewed. It might be the sunlight or a goodnight’s sleep. Or maybe it’s because Coach hasn’t given up on me and will let me play next year. That’s probably it. I was expecting to be kicked off the team, but apparently, given my previous record and my mom’s funeral, he’s decided to give me a second chance.
For now, that is.
“Hunter?”
I turn away from the blooming trees and find Millie standing several feet in front of me, dressed in a short denim skirt and a low-cut white crop top with some heels. She looks great as always, yet she seems thinner than normal, her skin more pallid. She smiles at me while closing the distance between us. Quite honestly I’m surprised she still wants to talk to me after all the hell we went through partying together. I’ve also ignored all her messages. However, I notice her smile doesn’t meet her eyes as she stares up at me, looking expectant.
“Hey,” I say awkwardly while rubbing the back of my head. “What’s up? Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, I know,” Millie says in a high pitched voice while lightly smacking my arm. “You keep ignoring my texts. What’s up with that?”
I shrug, not really wanting to explain myself. If I tell her my mom died, I would have to talk to her longer and I’m already running late to Dr. Forrester’s office. “I’ve just been busy,” I say, hoping to end our chat soon. I look at the time, noticing I have about ten minutes until my session starts. “Hey, Millie, I really gotta-”
“Drew was just asking about you yesterday.”
My heart slams to a stop at the mention of his name.
Millie taps her chin thoughtfully. “And Jerry actually.”
I clench my jaw, instantly remembering the last time I was around Jerry. My hands fist, recalling the baseball bat and him hitting me; me not knowing up from down.
Millie grabs my arm and pouts. “They miss you. You should-”
I push her away, knowing whatever she’s about to say isn’t good. “Sorry, Millie I have to go. It was nice seeing you,” I call while running across the street, pushing myself to get as far away from her as possible.
Then there're days like today, which start off good, and then turn into me desperately trying not to drink. I shake the dark thoughts away, trying to ignore that need swelling within me, pushing me to chase Millie down and see what illegal things we could get up to.
I storm into Dr. Forrester’s office, looking at the time and seeing that I have a minute to spare. The door opens and I see her smiling back at me, her lips lowering at the sight of me gasping and sweating.
“Good afternoon, Hunter,” she says while stepping to the side and allowing me to pass. “Are you doing okay today?”
I shake my head while plopping down into her couch. “I was,” I say while running my hands through my hair.
The door clicks close and she sits herself off to the side. Close, but not too close. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I grimace. “I ran into Millie on my way here.”
Dr. Forrester looks through her papers. “Millie, who’s the girl you used to go to these parties with.”
I chuckle bitterly. “That’s the one.”
“Did she trigger anything?”
I groan and press my face into my hands. “She just reminded me of that time and that… need.”
“The need to drown away your thoughts.”
My hands slide away from my face and I lean back in the couch, my leg bouncing up and down maniacally. I’m itching to grab my cell, to call Millie, but I keep my hands in my lap. “Yeah, exactly,” I say while gripping my hands. “Why am I not over this yet? It’s not that hard. I should be better by now.”
