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I jerk away from the faucet as I feel my body shudder at Alex’s words.Fuck Alex,I think while turning off the faucet and leaning against the counter. I scowl at the floor, reminded of how close he was, his hand holding my wrist tight. My body shivers again, and I groan before slapping my face over and over again.
“Fucking asshole,” I mutter while pushing away from the counter. He was all shocked by my leaving. Why would I stay? Why would I watch him win another meet? I watch him nearly every weekend.
But I did watch the meet. All I wanted to do was return home and wallow in my self-pity, but my curiosity got the best of me. I watched from the tree line, sitting in the grass and scowling at Alex’s stupid form. And of course, he won. Of course, he blasted past everyone as if he was some sort of superhero character. The guy is fucking amazing. Even if I hadn’t gotten injured, there’s no way I could beat him.
My scowl dissipates, and I sniff.
Most likely I’m not running in January. It’s not because of my heel. I’ve been babying it. I’ve been following the doctor’s orders. It’s the other athletes. They’ve been doing so well. They’ve been training so hard.
How am I ever going to beat their scores?
I’m totally fucked.
“Seth?”
I flinch and jerk towards Rachel. She’s standing in the hallway, near her bedroom door. She’s wearing a simple back dress and fluffy pink slippers. I don’t say anything as she strides towards me. She bites her lip, and I swallow. My cock twitches in response and all I want is for her to sink those teeth into my skin. It’s been too long since I’ve had sex. Of course, I’ve wanted to. I even went to a party where there were loads of bitches asking for it.
But I couldn’t.
Even if Rachel is a fucking bitch for kissing Alex, I still want her. I don’t think I will ever stop wanting her.
“Is everything okay?” she asks, her head tilting.
Her long blonde hair hangs to one side, and I imagine myself burying my hand in those locks and tugging her towards me. Maybe what I really need is a good hard fucking. Maybe in order to move on, I need to fuck the anger right out of me.
I shake my head and turn away from her. Not now. I can’t give in now. I still want to hate her, to blame her for everything going wrong in my life. Even though it’s not her fault I broke my heel; it’s not her fault Coach brought Alex onto our team. It’s not even her fault that Alex kissed her at the party.
But she likes him.
I scowl. Yeah, I don’t think I can ever get over that. I feel her hand on my arm and I stop, turning my scowl onto her. “Just leave me the fuck alone, Rachel,” I mutter.
Her eyes glimmer with unshed tears, but she pushes back her shoulders, her jaw jutting obstinately out. Well, I guess she wants to have it out, then. No more pretending like the other doesn’t exist.
This really isn’t my day.
“We need to talk,” she says, her tone stern.
“Oh, really,” I say bitterly. “About what, Rachel? About you liking my arch nemesis?” I yank my hand out of her hold and slowly face her. “About you going over to his place and doing God knows what?” I lean forward, meeting her scowl. “About you deciding that we’re not enough?”
Rachel’s bottom lip quivers, but she sniffs, her hands fisting while she tries to hold onto her control. “I want,” she pauses, swallowing a cry about to surface before continuing, “I want your forgiveness.”
I toss back my head and laugh bitterly. It’s too hilarious. She wants my forgiveness? Well, there’s no fucking way she’s getting it. “Be serious. I will never forgive you.”
“I love you, Seth.”
I feel my heart crumbling at those words. She’s pulling out the big guns, I see. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t want Alex.”
She stiffens and I see her resolve is shaking. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want you.”
“I didn’t want to share you in the first place,” I say angrily, remembering Alex’s words about how I share her with Hunter and Lucas. “I only put up with the others because I want you.”
Rachel’s gaze narrows. “Really, Seth? We’re back to that again? You know that’s not true.”
“It is,” I say while crossing my arms.
Rachel scoffs. “No, it’s not. I know you care for all of us.”
I hate that she’s right. I know I’m being petty right now, but fuck it. I want to be petty. I want to be mean for the way she’s made me feel these past few weeks—like I’m not enough for her. I feel like she’s replacing me with a better version of myself, because that’s what Alex is. He’s everything I’m not: a fast runner, a listener, a gentleman, a shoulder to lean on.
