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What do I have to provide to the relationship?
Nothing. I provide nothing.
The bell rings, and I’m thankful for whomever it is for interrupting. If it’s a salesman, I am so inviting them inside and listening to whatever they have to say about their product. I will do anything not to speak with Rachel right now, not to tell her about these feelings that have been raging inside me for too long.
I open the door, lurching backwards when I recognize a certain red head standing on the other side. “What the fu-”
“Hey,” says Alex while twiddling his fingers. “I wanted to talk.”
Get in line, asshole. Why does everyone need to speak with me today?
“Go away,” I say through clenched teeth, pushing the door closed.
Rachel quickly grabs it and throws it open. “Wait, Alex,” she says.
I stare at her, horrified. My stomach twists, aching at the bright smile on her face, but I feel weak to do anything. All I can do is watch her as she says, “Please, come inside.”
I can’t be here for this. Doesn’t she realize how much this is torturing me? Doesn’t she know I feel abandoned and replaced? I suppose she can’t know since I haven’t told her, but she’s my girlfriend. She should know what makes me tick despite me keeping my feelings to myself.
“Thank you,” Alex says, his tone nervous as he steps inside our apartment.
Alex fucking Goode. In our apartment. I didn’t think that would ever happen, but here he is, standing in his Puma gear, his hair appearing less flaming red in the dim light. He looks around the apartment, his nose wrinkling at the clothes and shoes I’ve scattered around.
“You live here, Rachel?” he asks, returning his gaze back to her.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I shout.
Alex winces. “I mean, I guess it makes sense she lives with you, Seth. I’m assuming Hunter and Lucas live here, too?”
Rachel and I bob our heads in unison.
Alex chuckles, sounding uneasy. “I suppose that makes it easier for you to be in a relationship all together.”
“Why do you even care?” I ask while leaning against the closed door and crossing my arms. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t run out of the place yet. I’m standing inside my own apartment with stupid Alex Goode. I should be buying gasoline and burning the place to the ground in order to purge it of the negative energy Alex is emitting.
Or is that me?
“I wanted to fix things,” says Alex while looking between me and Rachel. “I know things have been… weird between us. I don’t want it to be. I don’t want to get Rachel into any more trouble, and I don’t want you to feel like I’ve replaced you, Seth.”
I grit my teeth to keep myself from telling him to shut the fuck up. He can feel as guilty as he wants. Honestly, he should feel guilty. He’s pretty much ruined my life this semester. I have no clue how he’ll ever make it up, or if Rachel and I can even be fixed.
“Why don’t you share her with me? I’m sure I can rock both your worlds.”
A pleasurable shiver goes down my spine. Why can’t I get that out of my head? Am I so horny right now I would be willing to fuck Rachel with Alex? I glance at her, seeing the adoration in her gaze and the worried set of her mouth. If we add Alex to our group, will everything go back to normal? Will we be able to move on from this?
There’s only one way to find out.
I kick away from the door, a bitter smirk on my lips as I close the distance between me and Alex. His eyes widen as I lean towards him, my eyes narrowing on his pathetic face. “You want to fix things?” I ask, tilting my head. “Why don’t you prove what you said before?”
Alex’s brows furrow in confusion, making me want to smack him for being so forgetful. “Prove what?”
“I’m sure I can rock both your worlds,” I repeat, mimicking his voice and trying to ignore another shudder going through me.
His eyes widen in recognition. “O-oh.”
I chuckle while crossing my arms. “Or was that all talk?”
Alex shakes his head vigorously and part of me finds the earnestness in his gaze endearing. I immediately squash that thought. Nothing about Alex is endearing. He’s a fucking asshole.
