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RACHEL
Istareatmyself in the mirror, frowning at the dark circles under my eyes and the swelling in my cheeks. I need to start drinking more water, and eating less crap. My shoulders slump. I haven’t washed my hair in a while, hence all the messy bun up-dos I’ve been sporting these past several days. I just don’t have time. Between worrying about Seth, working on art projects, studying, work, and trying to ignore Josh, there’s just not enough hours in the day to take care of myself.
And then that whole thing with Alex yesterday. I groan and look at the door, not knowing if I should leave my room. Honestly, if I could, I would take a personal day. God knows I need one. I hate that Alex was hurting, that he didn’t get into the second round, nor into the Olympics. But this was his first time applying. It would be a miracle if he got in. And yes, I know he is amazing in running, but I’m sure it’s not all about how fast you are. There’s a lot of mental stamina needed in order to be in something that amazing, and not everyone can handle the pressure.
I just hope Alex doesn’t think he’s a failure. It’s amazing he was able to apply at all. He should feel proud of himself, for everything he’s been able to accomplish this year. Ugh. Shit, Rachel. That’s what you should have said to him yesterday.
With an aggravated sigh, I stalk toward my door, opening it and peaking outside. I wince when I hear some rummaging in the kitchen. Well, I can’t hide in here forever, and if it is Alex, we’ll just need to talk about what happened. I don’t think I should be the one to apologize, but I guess I’ll have to see what kind of mood he’s in this morning.
Hopefully, it’s just Lucas making breakfast.
I pad slowly down the hall, carrying my large, black boots with me. I try to keep all my clothes inside since the bros tend to dump their things by the door all the time, without a care of what their things are landing on. I figure, this is how I keep my shoes safe.
The smell of cinnamon makes my stomach grumble, and my eyes widen when I see Alex working in the kitchen, flipping toast in the pan. There’s coffee in the pot and a candle lit on the coffee table. Wait. When did we get a coffee table? I blink my eyes. Is this really happening? Or am I in some episode of the twilight zone?
“Good morning,” Alex says brightly while putting down the skillet and placing a chaste kiss on my cheek. “I hope you’re hungry. I made breakfast.”“I can see that,” I say, unable to hide my bewilderment as I look at the pile of French toast lying on a plate on the counter. “What’s the occasion?”
Alex grimaces as he makes up a plate, handing it to me while saying, “I’m sorry for being a dick.”
My heart swells as I take the plate, and I watch Alex, seeing hearts and sparkles around him like we’re in some sort of girl’s anime show, as he turns off the stove and makes a plate for himself. He nods toward the couch and coffee table while saying, “Come. Eat before you run off to class.”
I follow him, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Since when did we have a coffee table?” I ask while he puts maple syrup all over my French toast.
Alex chuckles. “Lucas and I had an extra table. Thought it would be more useful here.”
“How is it sharing a room with Lucas?” I ask, mostly because I’ve never asked him before, given that I never hear them argue about anything. I could never imagine Alex and Seth sharing a room. There would be nonstop yelling all the time.
Alex shrugs. “Pretty good, given he’s rarely home due to work. Although, I’m definitely excited to take over Hunter’s room when he’s gone.”
I wince. Yeah, still not ready to think of that. Sure, there will be more room, but then I won’t get to see Hunter. And last time Hunter and I discussed what to do about our relationship, we decided to shunt it under a rug and have sex instead. Not the best way to handle things. We still need to figure that whole situation out.
“But I didn’t make you breakfast so we can talk about my room,” Alex says while staring intently at his French toast, as if at any moment it will run off his plate. “I really wanted to apologize to you about yesterday. I shouldn’t have yelled. You were just trying to help.”
“I know you were upset,” I say while rubbing his shoulder.
“It’s just…” I watch him pause, his eyes glimmering in the light.
He looked like this yesterday, on the verge of tears, biting his bottom lip while trying to contain his emotions. I move closer to him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders, trying to provide him with all the support I can possibly give.
“It’s alright,” I whisper. “You don’t have to brave and strong all the time.”
He nods, but I can tell he’s still fighting the tears. “I know. I just,” he sets his plate down on the coffee table and turns to me. His face is flushed, which makes his red hair stand out even more. His nose is slightly red. I didn’t notice before, but his eyes are swollen, as if he had been crying the whole night. I’m such an idiot. I should have checked on him before going to bed, rather than giving him his space. I just figured, with my experience from Hunter, he would prefer to be alone.
I should have known better. Hunter shouldn’t have been alone then, and also, Alex is his own person. He has his own needs, wants, desire—he probably needed me more last night than he’s ever needed me before.
“I just really wanted this,” he says, his voice quivering. “I thought this could be my thing, be my career, but I guess I was wrong.”
“No,” I say while stroking his hair, his cheek. “You’re not wrong. You’ve already accomplished so much, Alex. And you will make it. You just need to pick up the pieces and try again.”
Alex nods, smiling. “I guess you're right.”
“I know I’m right,” I say before shoving a rather large bite of French toast into my mouth.
Alex laughs as he wipes the tears from his eyes. “Ugh, I feel like a big baby.”
“You’re not.” I bump my shoulder against his. “You’re really sweet, Alex.”
“Is there any way we can do something tonight?”
