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SETH
Ishouldbein bed. With each step we take down the sidewalk, I feel my body ache just a bit more. I wiggle my hands, trying to bury them deeper inside my coat pockets. Well, the coat actually belongs to Alex. I haven’t gotten up the nerve to thank him for allowing me to borrow it. Call it my pride, or my ego, whatever it may be, I just can’t get up the nerve to treat the guy with the little amount of respect he deserves.
Memories from last night come to me in flashes. I remember being at Mike’s party, completely lit, tripping over myself and acting like an ass. God, I shouldn’t have drunk so much. I shouldn’t have eaten so much, but here I am, unable to change the mistakes made, given they happened in the past. I don’t have a time machine. I can’t go back and fix everything that was said and everything that I did. I can only move forward with the hope we can move on from this, with the hope that I will stop scaring my friends and Rachel.
My gaze shifts to Rachel, holding her cell up to her ear. I think she’s talking to that Charlie chick. Rachel keeps tugging at her mittens with her teeth. I’d find it completely adorable if we weren’t galivanting off to help her friend from that asshole four-eyes.
“Okay,” Rachel says with a sniff. “We’ll meet you at yours. Totally understand.”
Totally understand what? I want to ask as I watch her shove her cell into her coat. She wipes the tears from her eyes, her feet picking up in speed.
“What’s going on?” Alex asks, nearly sliding on the ice as he goes to catch up with her.
“We’re meeting up with Charlie at her place,” Rachel says without looking at us. “She doesn’t want to go there on her own. She’s worried about what Josh might do.”
“Hey,” says Alex, placing a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”
Rachel shrugs him off. “We don’t know that,” she says harshly before stalking forward, leaving me and Alex lingering behind.
Alex sighs, his shoulders slumping. He looks like a lost puppy dog as he watches Rachel walk ahead of us. Part of me feels sorry for him. He’s new in our gang. All he wants to do is help Rachel, yet he doesn’t know how. I can see it in the way he looks at her. I want to tell him to let it go, to merely be there if she needs us, but I bite my tongue as more memories from last night surface.
I remember talking with him last night, hugging him, but I can’t remember what was said. He had his Olympic tryouts yesterday. I recall hating him, hating everyone celebrating his win. He told me something about the tryouts he went to the other day, but whatever it was, I can’t remember it now.
Alex’s gaze lands on me and my heart leaps into my throat as I stare into those icy blue eyes. They’re lighter than usual, as if they’re filling with unshed tears. Red surrounds the irises. I guess he didn’t get much sleep last night, either.
“How are you feeling?” Alex asks gruffly, his eyes losing their puppy dog look and narrowing on me.
With that one question, my stomach lurches and I feel bile rising up my throat. I grimace, swallowing it down, before croaking, “Fine.”
“We were really worried.”
I roll my eyes. Whatever it was I felt before, completely evaporates and I stomp ahead of him, careful not to step on any ice as I try to catch up to Rachel.
“Seth!”
“Just drop it, Goode!” I call back.
Rachel’s back is still facing us, ignoring our impending fight. Maybe if I catch up with her, she’ll tell us both to shut up and then I won’t have to listen to Alex and his incessant noise any longer.
I don’t make it far when I feel Alex’s hand on my shoulder, pulling me back to him. My feet slip on the ice and I find myself falling backward. Alex catches me, cradling my head and I scowl up at him, hating the worry in his gaze.
“Jesus,” I whisper harshly while pushing him away, scrambling to find balance on the icy sidewalk. Alex holds my arm, helping me stabilize my wobbly legs. “Will you just stop,” I say while batting his hand away. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”
Alex doesn’t say anything and I hate the pity lacing with worry in his gaze.
“You’re leaving anyway!” I shout. “Why do you care what happens to me?”
Alex shakes his head, his arms crossing as he gives me an incredulous look. “What are you talking about?”
“The Olympics.” I gesture to him and his perfect body and his perfect clothes. “You’re leaving for the Olympics. You have your life all figured out. I don’t see why you care about people you’re leaving behind anyway.”
Alex’s mouth gapes open and a bitter chuckle escapes his lips as his head tilts to one side. “You must be kidding me, Seth.” He inhales deeply, looking at me as if he wants to punch me in the face. “Do you really not remember anything from last night?”
I just out my chin, not liking his tone. Sure, I had too much to drink. He knows that. Everyone knows that. “I’m still connecting all the dots.”
Alex takes a step toward me and I flinch, waiting for him to hit me, but his hands aren’t fisted. He doesn’t look angry enough to make a move. “I didn’t get in, Seth.”
I blink, not understanding his words.
