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“It’s not nothing. I know it.” Rachel’s hands fist. “This is your first book. There’s no way you could make enough money to buy a house like this, unless…” Rachel pauses, her eyes widening in horror. “Lucas, what are you writing about? Tell me. I want to know. Now.”
I grimace. I guess there’s no way out of this. I should have known Rachel would figure something was out of place. She is a smart girl after all. And there’s no way I would have been able to keep this hidden for much longer once the book got published. I suppose it’s better late than never.
“I’m writing about my family,” I rush out, unable to look at anyone. My gaze remains fixated on the smooth, glimmering floor. There aren’t any cracks in it. It’s absolutely perfect unlike our apartment floor, with its cracks and stains.
“What do you mean you’re writing about your family?” Rachel asks, the shrill in her voice making me chance a glance up at her.
She stares at me as if I’ve suddenly sprouted five heads and wings. Her eyes are so wide with horror, her mouth gaping open. Rachel shakes her head as she shouts, “What exactly are you writing about?”
Chapter 21
RACHEL
Ofallthethingshe could write about, why would he choose his own family? And why would a publishing agent agree to pay so much? I can understand Lucas’s family is in the limelight. They’re a part of New York’s A-list. Maybe B-list now, considering all the drama that’s happened in the last two years.
I hate the way Lucas cringes before me like he knows he’s guilty. He opens his mouth, and I see him already second guessing what he’s about to say. His mouth snaps shut and I know whatever he’s trying to say, it’s bad. He’s writing about his family. It must be terrible if he’s not saying anything now. And for what? Money? A nice house? They’re only things. And his family may be messed up, but they are trying. I could see how much they were trying during the rafting trip. His dad looked happy. His mother was trying to empathize with me, actually have a conversation with me. Most families simply give up. They don’t want to see it from the other side, whereas Lucas’s mother is actually trying to understand him.
“Lucas?” I say when he doesn’t respond. “What have you written about them?”
Lucas sighs and his shoulders slump. He looks so defeated. I can see the guilt in the way he hangs his head. If he feels bad, then why go through it? Why put himself through this kind of torture?
“I haven’t written much,” Lucas says while running a hand through his hair. “The first four chapters are due at the end of this month.”
“What are they about?” Alex asks, his tone worried.
Lucas wrinkles his nose and for a moment I suspect he won’t answer Alex, until finally he says, “I have the chapters divided into my childhood, adolescence, and adult years. Some of it is about,” Lucas pauses and glances at me before saying, “my dad’s affairs and my mom’s drinking habits.”
I release a sound that’s similar to a cry. “Lucas,” I whisper. “Why? How? How could you?”
Lucas flinches as if I’ve struck him, but I’ve hardly moved from where I’ve been standing. Everything seems so quiet. The white walls around us seem so cheap now compared to the sparkle and glamor they held before.
“The money is good,” Lucas rushes out. “I thought we could use it to help us. Hunter has been so alone and you live in that tiny room—”
“So you thought this house would fix everything?” I ask while waving at the room surrounding us.
“I thought it would be a good start for us.”
I scoff and shake my head. “You must be fucking kidding me, Lucas. How is anything about this good?”
“Hey!” Lucas shouts, pointing a finger at me. “I didn’t know my parents would try to get back into my life. Just because they spent a weekend with us, doesn’t mean I can forgive them for all the horse shit they put me through. It doesn’t mean anything!”
It’s surprising to me how all the guilt leaves his gaze. All I can see is anger boiling inside him. He looks at me as if I’m the one responsible for his family’s issues. I have my own family squabbles to contend with. I’m only looking out for him. I don’t want him to make choices he will later regret.
“Lucas,” Seth says softly, edging himself between us. He holds out his hands to Lucas as if he’s trying to calm a feral cat. “We understand the money is good, but we don’t want you to have any regrets. This can seriously hurt your family.”
For once, Seth has taken the words right from my lips. It’s like he can read my mind. Lucas shifts his scowl to Seth. Seth holds his ground, his back straightening to his full height, which doesn’t do much, given Lucas is a giant and nearly as big as Hunter.
“And they have seriously hurt me,” Lucas says angrily. “They have ignored me, manipulated me, and have used me. And when I finally stood up to them, they cut me off.”
“But now they are trying to make amends,” I say, trying to pander to his heart.
Lucas’s eyes close and I can see the pain washing over him. His hands clench and unclench. His jaw tightens. “For now,” he says while opening his eyes. “The money is good, Rachel.” He sounds as if he’s begging, trying to coax me into the dark side, and part of me is tempted to believe this is good, but deep in my heart, I know it is so very wrong. “And I am so done working at the cafe.”
“It hasn’t been so bad,” I say with a weak smile.
“I am overworked.”
He has a point there. Jason has him opening and closing, working double shifts, working full weekends. The money isn’t even worth it, but I know Lucas needs it in order to pay his bills. The only reason why I’m not hustling as much as him is because I have school and my parents, despite them wanting me to make my own way, still pay for a few of my things. Lucas has no one to rely on.
