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“I am tired of spending all my time working a meaningless job when I could be writing,” Lucas continues. “This money makes it possible.”

“But what about your poetry readings,” Alex says. “Surely you’ve been getting your name out there.”

“The poetry readings mean nothing!” Lucas shouts. “They do absolutely nothing!”

“But what about Boulder?” Hunter asks.

I grimace, remembering the way the Stacey Jones critiqued him and how the other writers in that community seemed to be trying to help Lucas, yet he took it as them putting him down.

“It was shit,” Lucas says darkly. “All of it is. This is my only way.”

Seth shakes his head. “There must be another way.”

“No, there isn’t, Seth.” Lucas’s voice sounds pained. It breaks my heart to hear him sound so desperate. “No one wants to publish me, Seth. This is my first break, possibly my only break, and I have to take it. I can’t just pick and choose.”

“Look, we understand, Lucas,” says Alex while stepping toward his childhood friend. Out of all of us, Alex has known Lucas the longest. He probably knows exactly what will go in that book and I can see Alex’s worry growing by the way his jaw clenches and how his hands shake. Maybe even his family will make it into the story, depending on what Lucas decides to write. “It takes hard work to achieve your goals. You just have to keep trying. It’s only been, what, a year? Two?”

Lucas rolls his eyes. “Funny, coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

I wince at the anger I sense in Alex’s tone and step between the men before things get out of hand. “Lucas, I know you mean well,” I begin, “but this isn’t the way.”

“I just want to provide for you.” Lucas strokes my cheek, his touch tender, but I won’t be swayed this easily. “I want us to have a life together.”

I grab his hand, pressing his palm flat against my cheek. “We do have a life together, Lucas.”

“Not the kind of life I want us to have,” Lucas says while wrenching his hand from my grasp. “You deserve better.”

I sigh and shake my head. “I don’t want better. I’m happy just the way things are.” I glance at Hunter, worried my words will hurt, but instead he’s nodding in agreement.

“I agree with Rachel,” Hunter says. “This isn’t the way, Lucas.”

“You should talk to your parents,” Seth adds. “Let them know what’s going on. They have the right to know.”

“And if they truly want to make amends, then they will understand and be there for you,” says Alex.

Lucas looks between us, a look of relief sweeping over his features. “So, you think I should still write the book?”

“No!” We shout un unison.

“Definitely not,” I add while shaking my head. “You need to return the money and get out of whatever contract you signed.”

Lucas’s mouth opens and closes. I guess that wasn’t the answer he was looking for. He kept this all a secret for a reason. He knew none of us would agree to it. His jaw clenches and he stares between us, out the window and at the trees in the distance.

“I can’t get out of the contract,” Lucas murmurs while turning around. “I thought… I thought you all would understand… eventually.”

“Wait!” I call, watching him stride out the room and into the hallway. His long legs are too fast. He’s already running down the stairs by the time I make it out of the room. “Wait! Lucas!”

I hear the door open and close and lean against the banister, heaving a long sigh of dread. What does this all mean? Does he need some time to think everything through? I can’t help but be worried about him. There must be something we can do to help him, to stop this, to make him feel worthy. He’s an excellent writer. He just needs to be patient and put in the work.

My phone buzzes and I’m partly thankful for the distraction. That is until I hear, “Have you decided on the Hamptons, or not?”

I clamp my mouth shut to keep myself from groaning. My mother is genuinely going to be the death of me. “Mom, now is not exactly the right time to be talking about this.”

“Then when is?” Mom practically shouts. “I’ve been asking you since January and you keep putting me off. All the good places are booked up and Bryan is pretty irritated that you haven’t given us an answer yet.”

Bryan this. Bryan that. Always Bryan, Bryan, Bryan. Frankly, I’ve had it. I have better things to concern myself with than Bryan. “You know what Mom,” I say angrily into the phone, noticing Seth, Hunter, and Alex giving each other a wide-eyed look. I probably look like I’m about to explode. I definitely feel like I am. “No. No I will not go to the Hamptons with you and Bryan.”

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