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“No,” he finally says. “I feel… frustrated… hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pulling him close to me. “I never meant to hurt you.”
He wraps an arm around me. “I know. I forgive you, but I will not go so easy on you if you keep another secret like this.”
I nod, believing him, understanding him. I would be pissed, too. I can only imagine how Hunter, Lucas, and Seth will react when I tell them the news. Lucas will be frustrated. Hunter will be hurt. Seth… may be downright pissed. I don’t know if I can take all that today. It’s already been too stressful with the walk, the prenatal appointment, the morning sickness, and now this. Today has been way too much and I’m happy it’s nearly ending.
“You have to promise me this won’t get in the way of your career,” I say while pressing our interlocked hands to my chest.
“Rachel,” he starts. “I want to be there for you.” His brows pull together, looking worried. “I should go to med school. It’s the best for us. I think there’s a school nearby.”
There’s something in his tone that makes my stomach twist with worry. “Do you want to go to med school?”
He looks away from me, which is an answer in itself. “Alex—”
“I should go to med school,” he says, his voice insisting. “Sure, the loans will suck, but doctors make good money, and I could be helpful to you.”
I shake my head and lean toward him, trying to get him to look at me, but he’s refusing to meet my gaze. “What else would you like to do?”
His jaw clenches. His gaze hard, boring a hole into the floor.
“Alex, tell me.” I place a hand on his cheek, turning him toward me. “Remember, no more secrets.”
He sighs, his lips twisting as if I’m torturing him. “I decided on my way home today I was going to pursue modeling. Susan Burnt, the PR manager for Puma, offered me the opportunity to model for them. There’s a gig the beginning of October she wants me to do, and then,” he pauses and wrinkles his nose, as if the words he’s about to speak are going to leave an awful taste in his mouth, “she wants me to model for Puma in Hamburg, during December… for the entire month.”
“Hamburg?” I breathe, clapping my hands together. “That’s amazing, Alex! You have to take it!”
Alex shakes his head, looking pained. He wants this job. I can see it written all over the face. I can’t allow him to give up this opportunity. I would never forgive myself. He would regret this. I know Alex would never hold it against me, but I would.
“Alex, you have to take it!”
“I can’t, Rachel.” He sighs, his shoulders slumping forward while his head hangs forward, looking defeated. “You’re pregnant. I need to be here for you. I can’t, in good conscious, leave you. Especially, if you’re going to give birth while I’m gone.” He places my hand against his heart and my insides flutter. My gaze drops to his lips, wanting to kiss him. “I want to be there for you, help you when you bring the baby home, meet the little monster,” he adds with a chuckle.
“Little bun,” I correct while poking his nose. “And you should still take it. I’m not due until the beginning of January. Maybe the end of December,” I say, wanting to be completely honest with him, “but knowing my luck, my little bun will want to stay inside me as long as possible.”
“Little bun?” Alex asks with a large smile, placing a hand on my belly.
I giggle and rest my hand over his. “Yep. It’s my little name for them. I don’t want to be calling the baby ‘it’ all the time.”
Alex presses his head against mine, nuzzling my cheek with his nose. “I will think about taking the job.”
“You will take that job,” I say sternly. “And we will be fine here. I have Hunter, Lucas, and Seth. I won’t be alone.”
“And when do you plan on telling them?”
I grimace. Great. We’re back to that again. Although, he’s right. Now that he knows, I should tell them soon. “Before you leave for Hamburg?”
Alex gives me a look as if to say that was completely the wrong answer.
“Next week?”
Alex sighs in frustration and rolls his eyes. “Rachel, no. You should tell them tonight. As soon as everyone is home.”
I groan and flop onto the bed, frowning up at the ceiling. “Do I have to? Today has been so stressful.”
“Yes, Rachel, you do,” Alex says while rolling on top of me, filling my view. “We can tell them, together.”
“Together?”
