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“Howdidyoufindthat?” I ask, barely registering the words leaving my mouth.
His eyes narrow on me, his nostrils flaring. He’s pissed. I can see it in his eyes, in the way his hand fists at his side. Yet, he holds the sonogram gently, as if it may shatter into pieces.
“It was in your purse,” he says tersely.
“My purse?” What in the fuck was he doing in there? “Why?” I ask, my voice a near shout. “What in the hell, Alex? You know not to go through my things.”
“I was trying to find something to ease your suffering!” Alex shouts. “I was trying to help. You’ve been sick for so long. Now I know why!” He shakes his head. “Were you ever going to tell us? Or were you going to keep it a secret? Put the baby up for adoption.”
“No!” My heart tears as I watch him, his scowl growing soft, the tears welling in his eyes. I take the sonogram from him, cradling it close to my chest. “I was going to tell you, eventually. I just didn’t know how.”
“How far along are you?” Alex asks, gentler this time. He closes the distance between us, his head bent toward mine.
“About five months,” I breathe while holding his stare, watching the emotions splay across his face, ranging from shock, to fear, and settling on frustration. “Are you mad at me?”
“You should have told me.” He grimaces and runs a hand through his hair. “Us. You have to tell the others. They deserve to know, as well.”
“I will, but—” I bite my lip, my gaze dropping to the floor, “not yet.”
“What do you mean ‘not yet’, Rachel? You’re in your second trimester for Christ’s sake! Time is ticking.”
“I know.” I can feel the waterworks coming on and I sniff, trying to keep it at bay, knowing breaking down and crying is not what Alex needs right now. He’s probably freaking out, wondering if he’s the father, how this is going to affect his life… our lives. I slide the sonogram into the pocket of my cardigan, keeping it both hidden and safe. “I don’t want to add any more stress to anyone’s lives. Lucas just got published. You and Seth didn’t make it into the Olympics. Hunter is still in grad school and trying to get an internship.”
“So, what?” He asks while giving me a very dramatic shrug. “You were going to do this on your own? Give birth in a hut somewhere far away and stay in hiding until the kid is all grown?”
“I don’t know.” I sniff and rub the tears from my eyes, my bottom lip trembling. “I haven’t really thought everything through.”
“No, I can see that.”
Alex groans and I feel even worse. By keeping this a secret, I’ve made everything worse. I’m fucking everything up. I should have told everyone the moment I found out, but I was too scared.
“I’m sorry,” I sob, unable to contain my tears any longer. “I’m sorry for everything. I know I’m being stupid, but I was so scared and everything was happening at once. Seth and you were going off to camp and we just moved into this house. I didn’t even know if I was going to keep my little bun, and then, suddenly I was, but you and Seth were gone.” I press my palms against my eyes, trying to stop the stream of tears dripping down my face. “And know everything is so messed up.”
I hear Alex’s long sigh and feel him taking my hand. My eyes blink open and I follow him down the hall and into my room. He pushes me gently onto the bed and disappears, quickly returning with a glass of water which he presses into my hand.
“Here, drink this,” he says tenderly. “You need to stay hydrated.”
I don’t say anything and gulp down the contents, remembering how just a couple hours ago Dr. Adams was on my case about decreasing my stress and sticking to a healthy diet. Well, my stress has definitely skyrocketed. She’s not going to be happy about that. I hand the glass back to him, watching as he sets it on the nightstand.
“Alright, let’s start from the beginning. You’re pregnant.”
I bob my head.
“And you’re about five months.”
I nod again.
“Do you know who the father is?”
I make a face.
“Okay, I will take that as I know. Which isn’t bad,” he rushes out. “We’re all one family. I will do my part in taking care of the little one even if he or she isn’t mine.”
I smile at that and he takes my hand, laces his fingers with mine.
“Are you still mad?” I whisper.
He turns his gaze toward mine, his mouth opening, yet he doesn’t say anything. I feel like I’m holding my breath, hoping he’s not going to hold a grudge for the next five years.
